Amber's MindSay Blog

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brokensoul918 — 2005-04-15T01:04:51-05:00

"Lonely No More" Now it seems to me That you know just what to say Words are only words Can you show me something else Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way Show me how you feel More than ever baby [Chorus:] I don't wanna be lonely no more I don't wanna have to pay for this I don't want to know the lover at my door Is just another heartache on my list I don't wanna be angry no more You know I could never stand for this So when you tell me that you love me know for sure I don't want to be lonely anymore Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends And you sing to me and it's harmony Girl, what you do to me is everything Make me say anything; just to get you back again Why can we just try [Chorus:] I don't wanna be lonely no more I don't wanna have to pay for this I don't want to know the lover at my door Is just another heartache on my list I don't wanna be angry no more You know I could never stand for this So when you tell me that you love me know for sure I don't want to be lonely anymore What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you [Chorus:] I don't wanna be lonely no more I don't wanna have to pay for this I don't want to know the lover at my door Is just another heartache on my list I don't wanna be angry no more You know I could never stand for this So when you tell me that you love me know for sure I don't want to be lonely anymore I don't wanna be lonely anymore [x3]

To SAM

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-15T03:04:05-05:00

oh babe Nikki came in last night you should have seen the look on her face when she found out i was feeding the daog and shit and the look she gave when she asked me when i was coming out there she's like i wanna go it took all i had not to tell her but sam prolly doesnt want you to she really wanted to spend the week alone with me!!! insert evil laughter here!!!!!

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brokensoul918 — 2005-04-16T02:04:48-05:00

Forever And For Always" In your arms I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me I can stay right here forever in your arms And there ain't no way-- I'm lettin' you go now And there ain't no way-- and there ain't not how I'll never see that day.... [Chorus:] 'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always We will be together all of our day Wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face--always Mmmm, baby In your heart--I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me And when we're apart, I know how much you miss me I can feel your love for me in your heart And there ain't no way-- I'm lettin' you go now And there ain't now way-- and there ain't no how I'll never see that day.... [Repeat Chorus] (I wanna wake up every morning) In your eyes--(I can still see the look of the one) I can still see the look of the one who really loves me (I can still feel the way that you want) The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me (I can still see love for me) I can still see love for me in your eyes (I still see the love) And there ain't no way-- I'm lettin' you go now And there ain't no way-- and there ain't no how I'll never see that day.... [Repeat Chorus (2x)] I'm keeping you forever and for always I'm in your arms

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brokensoul918 — 2005-04-16T02:04:56-05:00

"Fallin' To Pieces" Pray you don't Lose your place Dead of night Underway All your days Pass you by Sun will rise On your lonely, lonely nights Pray you sleep tonight Pray just a little When every little thing Starts fallin' to pieces Take my hand Fall in place Soul inside It shows in every line That's on your face Stay with me tonight Stay I'm gonna need ya when Every little thing Starts fallin' to pieces Ya been around town Take it down now Why is it the ones you love That makes it all so hard on you Then you let it fall behind And in the back of your mind You feel my loving shine You think you might be saved Tell me that you want someone beside you Tell me that you want to see this through Tell me all the times that I've been loving you You love me, love me too

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-16T09:04:19-05:00

Threw you the obvious And you flew with it on your back A name in your recollection Down among a million, say: Difficult enough to feel a little bit Disappointed, passed over. When I've looked right through, To see you naked and oblivious and you don't see me Well I threw you the obvious, Just to see if there's more behind the Eyes of a fallen angel, Eyes of a tragedy. Here I am expecting just a little bit Too much from the wounded But I see, See through it all, See through, And see you. So I threw you the obvious Do you see what occurs behind the Eyes of a fallen angel Eyes of a tragedy Well, oh well.. Apparently nothing. Apparently nothing at all. You don't You don't You don't see me You don't You don't You don't see me You don't You don't You don't see me You don't You don't You don't see me at all

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-16T09:04:50-05:00

Delusional I believe I can cure it all for you, dear Coax or trick or drive or drag the demons from you Make it right for you sleeping beauty Truly thought I can magically heal you You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening Failing miserably to rescue Sleeping Beauty Drunk on ego Truly thought I could make it right If I kissed you one more time to Help you face the nightmare But you're far too poisoned for me Such a fool to think that I can wake you from your slumber That I could actually heal you.. Sleeping Beauty Poisoned and hopeless You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening Failing miserably to find a way to comfort you Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening And hiding from some poisoned memory Poisoned and hopeless Sleeping Beauty

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-18T01:04:15-05:00

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL looks down, It means shes uncomfortable. When a GIRL is not arguing, She is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine. When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL calls you everyday, She is seeking for your attention. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says "I love you", She means it. When a GIRL says that she can't live without you, She has made up her mind that you are her future. When a GIRL says "I miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than that When a GIRL is jealous about other people seeing you more than she does, its because she loves you and misses you so much *

Today was....

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-18T02:04:59-05:00

Dog sitting sucks don't ever do it!! that how my day started out was with dog sitting so it started badly but then i went and grabbed lunch and was at my babies which mad my day Chris is the love of my life. my missing twin i know it sounds strange but let me explain. they say when twins are born and one dies the other always has a void in there soul and thats how it was when we were apart there was a void i'll admit i tried to fill it with my friend Jack(Jack Daniels) but it never work we've been thru so much already my alcohol abuse,our depression, and the last few weeks which i don't even want to talk about but i know some how we will make it thru it all we have already theres always been something to that has brought us back to each other and i'm sure it was for a reason! but anyways ......After i left there i went to Dawn her husband is home(he's a truck driver) so we all went out to dinner me and dawn have a mutual friend named Jen me and Jen where friends first then Jen and dawn became friends i knew Dawn but didnt become goods friends with her until resently which drives Jen crazy she gets so damn jealous which is stupid maybe if she stopped to think about it she would realize why we don't include shes up james ass constantly (her boyfriend) which is annoying and i Can't be around her when she drinks and Dawn doesnt want i cant because its to much of a temptation and i dont want that in my life anymore it sucks to realize your a functioning alcoholic at 19 and i had to quite but anyways we went to mine and Dawn's favorite restauraunt HOOTERS we only go together! the whole time Jen sat with a pissed off look on her face and wouldnt even speak to Dawn it was so childish she got even more pissed when she realized dawn wasnt going to pay for her check and Dawn hasnt going to when Jen dropped her daughter off at home it was suppose to be a family outting type deal Dawn and her husband her 3 kids me and my daughter and jen,james and her daughter but she droppd Jewel off at home so she could drink ugh! how could that be more important its just so stupid but on the plus side i ended my day by talking to my baby on-line which is always a good way to end the day

This song just seem to hit to close to home

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-18T10:04:17-05:00

I Want To Save You" standing on the edge of morning scent of sex and new found glory playing as she's pulling back her hair she drives away she's feeling worthless used again but nothing's different she'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care home by three deafening quiet the porch light's off yes they forgot it she'd cry herself to sleep but she don't dare and she wants to be a model she wants to hear she's beautiful she's beautiful i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you dressed by dawn and out the door no light she memorized the floor so she could leave without being detected she works till three it's uniform she dreams that he'll come by the store she prays for days when boys mean she's protected and she wants someone to see her she needs to hear she's beautiful she's beautiful i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you and she won't sleep she won't sleep and she won't sleep at all i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you

i've decided.....

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-19T03:04:35-05:00

i so many thoughts running thru my head but yet only one stands out,the confusion of the sisutation at hand hopeless wonderings and questioning every motive every action analyising every word that comes out fearful of history unable to shut it out, love seems to enjoy toying with me!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-19T05:04:05-05:00

SOMETHING CORPORATE LYRICS "You're Gone" taking steps back through the words i should've said to you they all got lost you went away well i feel sick and you just don't care anymore anymore hours to be with you minutes of me in you and i can't feel this happening so tie my hands back and make me feel you coming down coming down... and you don't care your face is on a billboard and you're everywhere you don't care much for interviews you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone away if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay it's hard to wave goodbye from aeroplanes when i just don't think that you can see i taper off and say its never worth the pain but sometimes it is... and you don't care your face is on a billboard and your everywhere you don't care much for interviews you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone away if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay god i wish that i could make this right i wish that there was something worth the time for her to give to me. a phone call from LA is my present there's nothing left for me to give I wish I could and I know that I should but you know I know I won't and you don't care your face is on a billboard and you're everywhere you don't care much for interviews you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone you're gone away if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay if you don't like being hurt then get away if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay

my first chance to actually sleep

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-21T05:04:30-05:00

My daughter was gone with my mom,and i actually had a chance to sleep in today which would of been great if i wouldn't of woke up at 11 having chest pains so bad i couldn't go back to sleep i layed there for 3 hours in te fetal position wishing i could go back to sleep,i should of know something would happen its been a bad week and it doesnt seem to get any better last night was slow at work i forgot i was suppose to be at work 10 i was half an hour late,on the plus side Tyler came in last night i sat and talked to him forever i haven't seen him in a while but then when Andre came in he had to talk to me about not drinking at work,which i havent since all that shit happen about a month ago but obviously i'm going to get blamed for it because of past mistakes which fucking sucks so me and andre got into about that in which case i got off at 6:30a.m but didnt get home till about 7

i'm sure i'll listen 2 this 100x while i'm gone & it will remind me of chris

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-21T06:04:52-05:00

Incubus-wish you were here dig my toes into the sand The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket I lean against the wind Pretend that I am weightless And in this moment I am happy...happy I wish you were here I lay my head into the sand The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it I'm counting UFO's I signal them with my lighter And in this moment I am happy...happy I wish you were here The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air

T o Sam

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-22T08:04:58-05:00

oh yeah sorry i forgot to tell ya about that must of slipped my mind oops! anyways three days left *jumps for joy* i need a break so bad ttyl love ya babe

Imprints

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-22T11:04:37-05:00

when i resolve into the essence that i most truly am, i feel a deep connection with every living thing for that which most imbuses me with my identity is somehow in the other,too, so that when i look around i see myself-relected. hidden in this union is the wonderful discovery that if indeed the angels have wings- then so do i. and if the midnight sky is radiant with light- then so am i. and if the silent mystery somehow becomes revealed in tiny dewdrops fair- then so will i for every lovely thing manifests the essence of which i am part, so beware, my soul,beware, and move with gentle heart thoughout this mystic veil. for if love left its imprint here- then so have i! -Donna Miesbach

only one stays behind

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-23T01:04:33-05:00

sometimes i feel like i'm standing in a room with all my friend and their all just talking at once and when their done they just leave when i look around theres only one person standing there he is the only one that stands there and holds me when i cry and tells me it's all going to be ok and just hugs me and we walk out of the room together this actually was a dream i had!

Once again .....

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-28T05:04:35-05:00

Once again i'm sitting in Hawaii Rick and Samantha went to bed early it's only 11 here but it 5a.m. back home so everybody i care about is a sleep so i have no one to talk to Ricky had duty last night so i understand why they went to bed so early he got NO sleep last night but stayed up all day so me and Sam could get out of the house.

I miss evrybody back home I miss my Lilli bug and it doesnt help when mom tells me she has been waking around the house looking for me i feel bad for leaving her back home but i know she is good hands and i know she is safe with her Nana and Papaw

I needed this break i needed a vacation theres been so much going on back home for last little while i was on an emotional over-load so its cool to just sit and relax ! for once !!!

The only bad thing is,is that i miss Chris like crazy and i think about him 24/7 and i don't know why but i'm afraid that he doesnt miss me as much as i miss him which i know is stupid because i know he does but theres still that little part of me thats afraid he doesnt and i dont know why? He kinda sounds sad everytime i talk to him and i THINK it's because he misses me,and it makes me feel bad that he sounds that way and i think i make it worse by talking to him so much but i dunno if i should stop calling him or not because i know if i did then he would just worry all i know is at this moment the only thing i'm looking foward to when i get back is to kiss me daughters chubby cheeks 6 million times and to hold chris in my arms i miss them both so fucking much:(!!!!

but on to a more Cheerful note the good part about being out here is of course the beach !!!! and the weather is beautiful its sunny everyday but it always has a slight breeze so the weather is beautiful!!! i'm with my best friend Samantha shes always been the one that would listen to me ramble on and on and never even stops me when i start to repeat myself theres no better friend then Sam while she actually is more like a sister !!!! The shopping is great we went to the Mall in Wakki today and they had a Louis Vuttion store Ricky just let us run wild he didnt complain or anything he just stood by the door and talk to the security gaurd until WE were ready to attemp to pull ourselves away the bad thing is I wasnt allowed to go near Tiffany's which is prolly a good thing because i prolly would have left!!!!! tomorrow i think me and Sam are going to go and Lay on the beach until her Job interview

Which I'm excited about 'cause she really wants the job and this is her second interview i really hope she gets it !!!! Good luck Babe *cross fingers* but anyways i guess thats about it i'm sure i'll right more tomorrow! g'night everybody

The air in paradise seems so much sweeter

brokensoul918 — 2005-04-30T01:04:17-05:00

Northshore is the most beautiful beach EVER!! its about 20 minutes outside of Honulolo but its was worth the drive it was so clear and clean the drive was actually not that bad Oahu is a really beautiful island i still cant believe i'm in Hawaii last night we went to the strip on Wakiki they have the biggest Louis vuitton store it actually has 2 floors and Chanel and Gucci and best of all we went to Tiffany's it was so great i'm having so much fun ,but i have to go shower so we can go into Wakiki for dinner!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-01T03:05:14-05:00

My H

is in Tennessee <3 :(

self realization-the person i appear to be but it's not the real me

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-02T06:05:18-05:00

I was playing around with editing my profile and really wasnt hapy with some of my answers, I started to realize that i may come off as a snobby little princess and i really hate that this really started a few weeks ago when i was shopping with my friend Sheri and she picked up a purse or something that said something Royality and something else that said something about being high mantience we were also with another co-worker and they started going on and on about how some of the other employees and most of our male customers baby me which i really don't think is true but they wouldnt stop talking about it,most of my friends are guys thats just the way it is mainly because my best friend is in Hawaii and the other girls i met don't like me that much because well i a blunt person most people say i'm a bitch but i perfer blunt its just seems nicer but anyways i blunt and at times i can be vulger and perverted and very sarcastic most girls my age dont seem to take it most of the time i joke with them there either intemadated or they don't think i like them,they dont seem to stick around long enough to realize thats just the way i am therefore most of my friends are guys which kinda leads to the problem at hand when i'm with my guy friends they usually baby me and if i'm not getting my way i just whine and they cave which sounds horrible i realize bt its just the way it usually works but it balances i guess 'cause i'm alays there to listen if to there smallest problems and diffently their biggests!! but i guess it just bothers me cause i've always been looked at as a spoiled little princess,at my last job thats all i was called cause i always bitched and got my way and if i was asked to do anything that theres was the possiblity i would get sweaty or dirty my guy friends would do it for me with out me asking so my friend Laura would call me princess and i was never sure if it was because it bothered her because i never had to work as hard as her or it was because the guys would never do it for her like they would me the guys mostly just made fun of her i dunno i guess this is something that has always bothered me cause i've never really looked at myself in this light but apparently everyone else has my mom always told me when i was little that i had champagne taste but beer money all though school i was jokingly called a spoiled little bitch and my group of friends always called ourselves "princesses" but i never though of it negativly until lately and it's really started to bother me mainly when i called home (i'm in hawaii visting my best friend) and told my mom and Friends i found a new Louis Vuitton purse and she started yeiling about me already having 2 and they kept saying that my purse was more than thier car payments no one really seemed to realize that it hurts my feelings when they act like i'm stupid cause i like things like that 'cause i'm just use to getting things like that everyone acts like i'm a child begging for a new toy or something:( i don't know if any of this even makes sense cause i'm really tired and i'm afraid i may come off looking like a spoiled little brat i dunno

To my Baby (they didn't have the cure but this works too)

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-02T06:05:22-05:00

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com

I'm Home

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-03T08:05:14-05:00

I'm home i'm back never thought i would be glad to be back in Tennessee and i prolly wouldnt be if Lilli and Chris would have went with me to Hawaii i missed my bubby so much i've kissed her like 20 million time and hugged her to death i didnt want to let go of my baby either but that one was a mutal thing

No Doubt

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-03T09:05:50-05:00

"Marry Me" I can't help that I like to be kissed And I wouldn't mind if my name changed to Mrs. This is one side, my conventional side An attraction to tradition My vintage disposition My sincere architecture And I want to cook him dinner But I'm more indecisive than ever And who believes in forever? Who will be the one to marry me? A girl in the world barking up the wrong tree A creature conditioned to employ matrimony Crumbling continuity, I pick up the pieces The ceremony makes me zealous As the past quickly ceases Fear from being neutered I'm now prude, now defensive Quickly I'm altered and tempted by new love only rented Do you believe you'll marry me? You might be the one to marry me Back, looking back, looking back at me I'm not how I used to be Take me back, take me back into history Diamond ring, tie me down just like it used to be Who will be the one to marry me? Who will be the one to marry me?

How life chances

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-04T11:05:24-05:00

I'm so glad to be home but i miss my Sam i hated leaving her AGAIN ok she left the fisrt time but i hated being seprated from her again when i was there it felt just like it did when we were home long talks and sleepless nights my sister is 5,000 miles away again but March will be here before we know it hopefully!!! Last night was great though i was in my own bed! and selpt next to my baby, i always sleep better next to him i don't know why i think its because i feel safe or something usually in the past if some one slept with me i would never get comfortable until i started sleeping with him and now i can't sleep by my self i dunno its weird I talked to Norm today he's in bagdah right now they'll move up north in alitlle while he said and he might get to come home for midtour leave in July which is awesome cause i havent seen him in almost a year!! oh god i think it has been a year DAMN! but i got his letter and theres more to come if he would quit losing my address he so forgetful and always has been his little brother Derek leaves for Basic in a few months i remember when Derek was in 8th grade now he is about to be in the Army thats just crazy And Lilli is about to be 3 it seems like just yesterday i brought her home from the hospital time is flying lately its so weird

sigh

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-04T11:05:52-05:00

Have you ever had a random thought that everyone else thought was crazy well i have those all the Damn time the only thing is my best friend would sit and have a 20 minute discussion about this thought cause she didnt think it was crazy yeah she'd prolly laugh at first but she would sit and talk to me about it well that happened all last week and it's little things like that,that makes me miss my Sam! yes i'm going through Sam with drawls all ready sad isn't no the sad thing is,is that when she reads this she won't think its sad 'cause she feels the same way *yes i know you that well HA* anyways......... Apparently people from my past are all of a sudden reappearing Josh Texted me today i haven't talked to him in weeks so that was pretty weird like i said earlier i talked to Norm, on my other journal Kelly posted a reply i haven't talked to her in months but apparently so what to check in and see what was new lol yeah that a three hour conversation right there! life is going to normal and boring again i have to go back to work tomorrow and i really don't want to!ugh back to drunks that like to try to smack me on the ass and ask me out or just sit there for hours on in trying to work up the nerve to and me in the nicest way possible trying to turn them down and still get tipped it sucks that this is the kind of people i have to depend on for my income *sigh* hopefully it won't be long before i can go back to school and move out on my own and actually be an adult and a mother and just live my own life and not have to answer to my mother "cause i live under her house and must follow her rules even though i'm a fucking mother myself! i'm really just kinda of depressed and fustrated with my life right now i've not done anything or reached any of my goals that i promised myself i would 3 years ago! i need...... a drink ugh i hate that but thats what i want right now doesn't mean i'm going to but i do want one Still one day at a time I feel like such a failure

HELP

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-05T12:05:46-05:00

i need a new icon but my brain is frozen any ideas????!!!!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-05T01:05:21-05:00

found one!

for those on my friends list --The new Icon

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-05T02:05:07-05:00

ok my new icon is Chris all of you have seen his name mentioned a million times and prolly read some of his replies (luckychance) thats my baby

My top Ten List

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-05T09:05:02-05:00

the top ten things that i love in no certain order 10.My daughter (of course) 09.My Friends--- they're all a special kind of strange in their own different way 08.Soda 07.Cigarettes---reliefs the stress always a plus!! 06.The way i always get my way with my parents---its good to be the baby! 05.sitting alone and listening to music 04.when a song reminds me of someone 03.When a song says everything you wish you could! 02.The way it feels when my baby kisses me!! 01.the way it feels when i drift off to sleep in my baby's arms! The top TEN THINGS I WANT 10.to be a good mother!! 09.To go back to school 08.maybe and this is a big maybe a Son 07.a puppy 06.to have a happy Family some day (white picket fence and all) 05.to know you feel the same way 04.To see my grandmother---still can't bring myself to do it 03.to have someone to come home to 02.a new job 01. Just to be Happy

Found this on Kt's journal so i stole it

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-06T04:05:00-05:00

Your Birthdate: September 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

The first one is sooo my baby

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-06T04:05:28-05:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

the warmth of your arms makes me feel safe

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-06T10:05:28-05:00

I need a hug!!!!

i don't know what to do

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-06T10:05:05-05:00

in regard to the entry "total melt down" i don't know what to do i'm totally clueless someone help! save me! oh comment on that entry it is friends only for a reason;)

this explians alot

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-07T08:05:46-05:00

Your Brain is 33.33% Female, 66.67% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

i think ya'll would agree this is ME

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-07T08:05:34-05:00

Your True Birth Month Is June

Fussy Abiding Friendly Stubborn Talkative Sensitive Executive Hesitating Easily hurt Active mind Easily bored Daydreamer Loves to joke Tends to delay Temperamental Brand conscious Loves to dress up Having lots of ideas Good debating skills Funny and humorous Thinks far with vision Prone to getting colds Polite and soft-spoken Able to show character Seldom show emotions Knows how to make friends Easily influenced by kindness Takes time to recover when hurt Choosy and always wants the best Those who love me are enemies; Those who hate me are friends

What's Your True Birth Month?

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-07T08:05:34-05:00

AMBER
A	is for	Articulate
M	is for	Misunderstood
B	is for	Bewitching
E	is for	Emotional
R	is for	Revolutionary

What Does Your Name Mean?

Last one i swear,this one was just so cute

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-07T09:05:19-05:00

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

ok i swear this is it

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-07T09:05:44-05:00

Your Rising Sign is Scorpio

You're so intense and passionate - you're on fire! You want to be an angel or a devil... you can't decide which. No wonder you seem moody and even a little dangerious. You've got some major mystery going on, so work it! Your personality is the strongest of all signs, making you hard to deal with. While you're ruthless to your enemies, you're loyal to your one true love.

What is Your Rising Sign?

Randomness!!!! Answer the questions!!!!!!...

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-07T09:05:05-05:00

a small game of "would you prefer" 1.night/day- 2.summer/winter? 3.windy/rain? 4.Taco bell/Mcdonalds? 5.to be able to fly/x-ray vision? 6.Rock/Rap? 7.desk job/working w/ people? 8.blind/deaf?-what would be worse? 9.Rock star /super model? 10.would u rather be king/president?

This was really funny and some actually are true!

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-08T07:05:31-05:00

You Know You're From Tennessee When...

You've never met any celebrities....other than Fred Thompson "Vacation" means going to the family reunion. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas. You laugh when people from anywhere north of TN tries to say or spell "y'all" It's "Mar-vull" not "Mary-ville" It's "Knox-vull" not "Knox-ville" A tabogan is a hat, not a sled. You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside and closing it back up again. Every town in East Tennesse has a "strip" and they're not particularly safe to be in at night. Pigeon Forge is not pronounced with a French accent. Gatlinburg does have an "L" in it and it should be pronounced. Sales tax is 9.5%. You shop at Walmart for groceries, not at a grocery store. You don't drive in Knoxville on game-day. EVER. You or your friends chew. You can't remember the last time you saw snow. You have a "piss on" sticker on your car window You know when Elvis Presley Day is You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Tennessee.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at Blogthings

To Chris ! xoxo

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-08T07:05:27-05:00

i don't know if you remember or not about the joke of 4 pages of reason not to love well i found those blank pages today and thought of another list instead!! ten things i love about you 1.your beautiful eyes,and the love u have for me that i see in them everytime you look in to mine 2.the way you kiss me! 3.the way you make me laugh 4.the way you look concerned after you make fun of me and you think you hurt my feeling! 5.The way you care about my feeling 6.because you love Lilli too!!!!!!!!! 7.the cute way you say "hold me baby" 8.the way you hold me while we sleep 9.your smile!!!!! 10.the way you say "I love you baby" 11.the way you try to make my problems yours even though you know you don't have to 12.when you don't want to go to work 'cause it means getting out of bed with me! 13.because your such a caring and compassionate person 14.the way you get sooo excited when you've down loaded new music videos 15.the way you run your fingers through your hair! 16.the way you make love to me because i know that it's more than just sex to you too! 17.when your in one of your really playful moods 18.the way you sing along to every single damn blink-182 song 19.when you always make sure i'm covered up before you go to sleep! 20.how HAPPY you make me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know its only suppose to be 10 things but that wasn't enough i had to stop myself at 20 the list could go on and on........

a decent night

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-09T02:05:21-05:00

My night will end on a happy note,i'm sitting here at Chris' computer about to go climb in bed,I'll get a good nights sleep tonight 'cause he'll be laying beside me we got into an arguement earlier but things are okay now i can never stay mad at him when he looks at me with a sad little face and says"baby,i love you" it kinda makes me feel really really bad because i'm the one that put that sad look on his face! and i hate that, i hate fighting with him , i hate it if he's mad at me ! i hate being mad at him, i know this all prolly sounds really stupid but he IS the love of my life i don't know what i'd do with out my baby........ g'night all

Everyone keep Kt in your prays tonight !!!!!

ugh!

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-09T08:05:24-05:00

I really don't want to go to work tonight! (it's not fun working 10p.m -6a.m and everyone wonders why i'm so pale!)i didn't get alot of sleep last night i went to bed at 5 cause i'm use to staying up that early then Lilli(my daughter) got up at 8 in the morning!!! but i a small nap in,i have a feeling this isn't going to be a good night and i'm usually right*sigh*

She just needs a little help To wash away the pain she's felt

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-09T09:05:49-05:00

"Holy Water" Somewhere there's a stolen halo I use to watch her wear it well Everything would shine wherever she would go But looking at her now you'd never tell Someone ran away with her innocence A memory she can't get out of her head I can only imagine what she's feeling When she's praying Kneeling at the edge of her bed And she says take me away And take me farther Surround me now And hold, hold, hold me like holy water Holy water She wants someone to call her angel Someone to put the light back in her eyes She's looking through the faces The unfamiliar places She needs someone to hear her when she cries And she says take me away And take me farther Surround me now And hold, hold, hold me like holy water Holy water She just needs a little help To wash away the pain she's felt She wants to feel the healing hands Of someone who understands And she says take me away And take me farther Surround me now And hold, hold, hold me And she says take me away And take me farther Surround me now And hold, hold, hold me like holy water Holy water

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-11T04:05:18-05:00

Yet another boring day,i wish my life was more exciting,but i've been lazy all day mainly cause i have to work tonight hopefully it won't me that bad my friend Sheri works tonight so theres always the chance of good conversation she's like a second mom so i tell her all my problems then she tells me what i should or shouldn't do (she is also a pshyc major) but on the other hand the cook i always get into a argument with works too,ha but i don't really care to day is a weird day it marks the second year anniversary of my friend susan's death she was 26 i haven't been to her grave since the day she was buried i know i should go,but i don't know how to get there i tried calling my ex-fiance sunday for direction but when he found out it was me he wouldn't get on the phone(pussy) apparently he's still "heartbroken" or some shit i don't care he needs to move on i know i have actually i think i did like a week after i broke up with him i defenitly wasn't devasted my that end of that relationship! i know it sounds heartless but we both knew it was a dead end relationship hell i told him that all the time and most of the time he agreed with me,we just likes to try to make me feel guilty about it cause he is one of those yoah is me people and he just gets pissed when i don't care but anyways,last night kinda sucked! i went to Chris' apartment and watched Blue collar comedy tour rides again i love Ron White!!! but then it was so late that i had to leave which is the part that sucked i wanted to just sleep with my baby but my daughter was at home with my mom so i had to leave ugh! i hate when that happens! but i guess thats just about it for now

update

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-11T07:05:32-05:00

the entry below has been updated!!

yet another quiz this one is thanks to fyreph:)

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-11T09:05:34-05:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Late night

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-14T08:05:35-05:00

I Finally got a Friday night off!!!!!! I was so happy we sorta did a couples thing,Me amd My baby and our best friend Lee and his girl-friend Melissa,we went to the club we usually go to when we go out it's been since like new year's eve since we've gone out together mainly because me and chris broke up in Jan. but anyways Melissa was already drunk when i got to their apartment that girl can TALK when she is drunk it was like a 20 min.drive to the club and she talk so much in that 20 mins. she actually gave me a headache!! but once she sobered up again she was cool to be around,but it doesn't matter what i think Lee likes her a lot and she makes him happy and thats all that matters!!!!! but it was awesome for me and Chris to have a night out with-out the baby we both love Lilli but a break is nice every once and a while,I love my Baby he's prolly going to get in trouble at work 'cause he called in to work this morning so we could sleep in together! we went to Lunch together today then i took him home he's spending time with his friend nathan this weekend it's the only time they see each other but i still miss him! I love you baby!

Last night was A GREAT night

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-18T03:05:43-05:00

MAinly because i quite my job!!!! I'm so happy to be free from that fucking hell hole no more staying up until 6a.m, no more drunks,no more fucking hashbrowns!!!!! now i'm one step closer to going back to school and getting my life on track!:)

hope

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-18T03:05:11-05:00

hopefully to day will turn out to be a good day after all!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-19T12:05:12-05:00

is any one else amused by the toolbar it just poped up today on my journal like a present,a present as if out of no where:)

No Sleep

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-19T09:05:51-05:00

For some reason last night everytime i finally fell asleep last night some one called!!! This went on until i think the last call was 4:45a.m,which fucking sucks!One call i understand 'cause i called him but he didn't have to call back at like 5a.m *cough Lee cough* no i got absoultly NO sleep last night!!!!

today's the day

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-19T12:05:12-05:00

i'm going to enroll in school today this is a very big thing this is something i've been puttibg off for over a year,i'm a little nervous,i'm not sure how well this is going to play out but its one step closer to getting my life and priorities strait and taking control of my life and not depending on every one else around me i've been pampered for far to long and this is one step closer to getting out on my own with my daughter ,this is one step closer to finally growing up! and it's scareing the hell out of me right now!!!! Wish me luck

School update

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-19T08:05:45-05:00

ok went to pellissippi,yes must take A.c.t's and i had to get a shot ! write more later

wishful thinking

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-21T06:05:25-05:00

OOOhhhh to be back in Hawaii!!!!!!!*sigh*

Just thought you should know!

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-21T11:05:39-05:00

Okay people have been moved around a bit i decided upon this tonight there may be entries that only a few shall be able to read so if you have been moved then that doesn't make you less important*cough Sam cough* well actually it prolly means your more important,and/or i vaule your opinion and am letting you read entries no one else can so .......I just wanted to post this so on one got upset if they had been moved categories! :)

Eventful day!

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-23T05:05:48-05:00

I stayed at the apartment last night(chris',lee's and bob's) all was well Lee and Melissa and bob was home so we all just hung out,and talked everything seems to be back to normal,got up this morning,it took Chris an hour to get me up! I am now offically enrolled at PSTCC,all was going ok but i have a denist appointment tomorrow:P,then after i got me and my daughter some lunch,we're on our way back home when my car decided it was going to die and not start for about 10mins. which sucks when your in the middle of the road with a 2year old in the car with you,needless to say i was pissed,but it finally started thank god,it has been a stressful few days! and the next few are going to be even worse!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-23T10:05:47-05:00

stolen from meaaaaaaa

girls...

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot . . .

. . . who calls you back when you hang up on him . . .

. . . who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead . . .

. . . who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats . . .

. . . who holds your hand in front of his friends . . .

. . . who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ". . . that's her."

Wait for the one who won't rush you into anything. The one who wouldn't
"control" you. One who WON'T intentionally make you cry. One who is
loyal ALL THE TIME, NO MATTER WHAT. One who won't yell at you for
stupid things. One who WILL stick by your side NO MATTER WHAT. One who
is like your best friend and your lover.

Guys . . .

Find a girl who calls you BABE or baby face instead of HOT or SEXY . . .

. . . who can't stand it when you hang up on her . . .

. . . who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes . . .

Wait for the one who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most . . .

. . . who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips . . .

. . . who wants to be with you in public . . .

. . . who makes you smile just by knowing she loves/likes you back.

Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy.

Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she
still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her
go: "you're the one for me, for always."

Was not a fun Day

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-24T05:05:01-05:00

Went to the Dentist today and i have to get my wisdom teeth pulled june.4th i'm sure thats going to be fun:(

Today eneded well

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-25T01:05:03-05:00

I had a bad day,between my migrane and my scream two year old ,my trip to the denist caused my headache and my daughter felt it was the best time to scream all day and be winey,but i talk to my best friend (who sadly now lives in Hawaii and i'm still stuck here in Tennesse!) and she gave me HAPPY news which i'm not allowed to share with anyone(yeah Sam thats killing me already!)and it made my a hell of a lot better, hopefully i'll be able to share this happy news soon(hopefully soon there will be happy news to share!!!;) )lets just say it made my day better and hers too and thats whats important!!!!

Other than that not much happened it was a kinda boring day with the excemption of i have painkillers so now my head nor mouth hurts right now and i'm a little loopy 'cause i usually don't pills so yeah that about it good night all :)

Go figure,

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-25T01:05:30-05:00

And it all came crashing down in the end!

this song reminded me of a few months ago

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-25T10:05:31-05:00

This will all fall down like everything else that was
This too shall pass and all of the words we said
We can’t take back

Now every fool in town would’ve left by now
I can’t replace all the wasted days
The memory of your face - can’t help thinkin’

Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together
Where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me
Here’s what I’m thinking

It won’t be the first - heart that you break
It won’t be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won’t take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

Tell me one more time
How you’re sorry about the way
This all went down - you needed to find your space

You needed to still be friends
Needed me to
Call you if I ever couldn’t keep it all together you’d comfort me
Tell me but forever
And the promises I never should have believed in
Here’s what I’m thinking

It won’t be the first - heart that you break
It won’t be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won’t take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

It’s over now - and I’ve gone without
Cuz you’re everybody else’s girl
It seems to me - you’ll always be
Everyone else’s girl
Everyone else’s girl

This will all fall down
Like everything in the world
This too must end
And all the words we said
We can’t take back

It won’t be the first - heart that you break
It won’t be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won’t take you back
If you were the last...

It won’t be the first - heart that you break
It won’t be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won’t take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

The last beautiful girl in the world
You are the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girlThe last beautiful girl in the world
You are the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girl

uggghhhh

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-27T11:05:50-05:00

School start the 31st,and i'm not looking foward to getting up early! i've got two semisters of English crammed in to two months thats going to be ALOT of work !!!

huh i don't know

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-27T10:05:54-05:00

I have been having the strangest dreams lately,either i have really weird dreams or no dreams at all, I dunno i usually always have dreams that have something to do with whats going on in my life but lately they've just been weird as hell i'll spare you the details of the warped images that lay in the deep caverens of my mind but it just strange

Any hoo,nothing special has happened lately(in the last two days) i'm enjoying my last few days of freedom,things have been pretty mellow everything is actually going good right now ,i'm going back to school,Lilli(my daughter) is great,things are actually going good with me and Chris*gasp* i know hope i don't jinx that! i mean we have or moments were we annoy each other but it only last like 5 seconds then all is good again

I love this song,this band, these lyrics,they hold a strong sentimental value!

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-27T11:05:29-05:00

This song still reminds me of a time not so long ago,when this is how i felt,it's not post 'cause i still feel this way i just like the song,but it is an important song!

Matchbox 20

"Leave"

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

It's aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out
How your good intentions turn to doubt
The way you needed time to sort it out

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
When you know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
And the one you're leaving out

The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-28T08:05:18-05:00

when it rains it pours,fuck it,fuck it all

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-28T09:05:24-05:00

i am losing my mind,can some one help me find my sanity?

How to keep your Sanity happy!a convo me and the djinni had earlier:)

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-28T11:05:14-05:00

VITAL INFORMATION!!!!!!

ialwaysgetmywayX: thank u for helping me find my sanity,it often ecsapes from me
TheHereticDjinni: You're welcome :-) I know the feeling; mine runs off too so :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: i hate when that happens *sighs* lol
TheHereticDjinni: Yeah; ah well. Got to put them on chains, I suppose :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: or in a cage
ialwaysgetmywayX: with a hampster wheel
TheHereticDjinni: Nah; sanity becomes insanity too quick in a cage, and that isn't good-- oh, with a hamster wheel; well, that's good then :D Keeps it busy
ialwaysgetmywayX: uh huh and those little tunnels
ialwaysgetmywayX: sorry i warned u i was in a goofy mood
TheHereticDjinni: *laughs* It's okay :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: but if sanity were a creature what shall we feed it?
TheHereticDjinni: Bananas. Definently bananas
ialwaysgetmywayX: peeling and all or should we peel it for them?
TheHereticDjinni: Nah, leave the peel on. It'll keep them entertained to get it off
ialwaysgetmywayX: lol ok is that all i dont think it could live on Bananas alone!
TheHereticDjinni: Nah, believe me; bananas are good :D The more bananas they eat the less of a chance they'll go bananas :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: lmao thats a very good point ,i can't believe i didn't think of that!!!
TheHereticDjinni: Yeah :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: and what to drink its bound to get thirsty
TheHereticDjinni: Tiny wine coolers
ialwaysgetmywayX: drunk sanities! i don't think thats a good idea
TheHereticDjinni: Nah, they have an incredibly high drink tolerence for wine coolers. Just don't make it whiskey shots; they'll be jumping off ramps to cross the Grand Canyon. On a normal bike
ialwaysgetmywayX: lol oh come on a little Jack Daniels every now and then never hurt anybody just no everclear
TheHereticDjinni: *laughs* Okay then :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: ok so bananas,wine coolers and alittle whiskey (but only when they've been good)
TheHereticDjinni: Yeah, exactly. That's the way to keep a happy sanity :D
ialwaysgetmywayX: i agree
ialwaysgetmywayX: i'm glad we figured this out maybe now they won't run away so often:D
TheHereticDjinni: Yeah :D Just sit back with him, hand him a banana and a wine cooler and he'll stick with you forever
ialwaysgetmywayX: lol i'm going to try this
TheHereticDjinni: Okay :D

All about me:) !

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-31T05:05:16-05:00

Stolen fromlass :)

>>001. What is your name?: Amber

>>002. Spell your name backwards: rebma

>>003. Date of birth: 9-18-1985

>>004. Male or female? Female
>>005. Astrological sign: Virgo

>>006. Nickname: Am

>>007. My profession: student of life
>>008. Height: 5' 3

>>009. Weight: 125

>>010. Hair color: dark red and black
>>011. Eye color:brown
>>012. Where were you born?knoxville,Tn
>>013. Where do you reside now: knoxville,tn
>>014. Age: 19
>>015. Screen names: ialwaysgetmywayX
>>016. Are you online often? way to much

>>017. What does your screen name stand for?: just what it says
>>018. What is your diary name?brokensoul918
>>019. What does your diary name stand for? not touching that one
>>020. Pets: my daughter does she count?
>>021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? none
>>022. Piercings?: ears,tongue,nose,nipples,and navel
>>023. Tattoo's?: 3
>>024. Shoe size? 8 1/2
>>025. Righty or lefty? Righty
>>026. Wearing: jeans and tank top
>>027. Hearing: cartoons
>>028. Feeling: bored
>>029. Eating/drinking: nothing

Friends Stuff

Which one of your friends is the....
>>030. Craziest?: Lisa
>>031. Loudest?: Lee
>>032. Nicest?: sam
>>033. Grumpiest?: Lisa
>>034. Life of the party?: lee/lisa
>>035. Jock?: Chris<3
>>036. Prep?: sam/faith
>>037. Rebel?: Tabby
>>038. Cutest?: Chris (that one should of been obvious,i mean he is the prettyboy,and he is going to kill me for putting that)
>>039. Best friend of the same sex?: Sam
>>040. Best friend of the opposite sex?: Lee/Chris<3
>>041. Most popular?: Chris well he thinks he is
>>042. Rudest?: lisa,bob,chris,lee---lol
>>043. Most shy?: Bob
>>044. Dumbest?: not touching that one
>>045. Smartest?: not touching that one either
>>046. Weirdest?: Ash
>>047. Has the best hair?: Chris<3
>>048. Best personality?: There all great!(and alot alike)
>>049. Most talented?: Chris <3

>>052. Drama queen?: that would be me

>>054. Funniest?: Lisa
>>055. Best advice giver?: My Sam of course!
>>058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently?: no
>>059. Person you've been friends with the longest?: Lisa
>>60. How many people on your buddylist?: 28

Love/Other Stuff

>>061. Have you ever been in love?: YES
>>062. How many people have you told "I love you"?: and really ment it?1
>>063. How many people have you been in love with?: really in love with just one!
>>064. How many people have said I love you to you? a couple
>>065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? yep
>>066. How many people have you dated? oh dear lord i can't remember that
>>068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes! and smile which my baby has the best of both of those<3
>>069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for? compassionate,and funny not afraid to be themselves,and sweet!
>>070. Do you have a bf/gf?: Yep:)
>>073. Do you have a crush right now?: nope
>>074. If so who is it?: !? read above
>>075. Do you believe in love at first sight?: Lust at first sight
>>076. Do you remember your first love?: yep
>>077. Who is the first person you really liked?: ???.
>>078. Do you believe in fate?: umm....i'll let ya know.
>>079. Do you believe in soul mates?: yes.
>>080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours?: i think i already did

Family Stuff

>>104. How many siblings do you have?: 5
>>105. What are your parents names?: -----
>>106. What are your siblings names?: Daniel,Will,Autumn,Summer,Eric
>>107. How many siblings does your mother have?: 3
>>108. How many siblings does your father have?: 4
>>109. Where are your parents from? Tennessee,Georgia
>>110. Is your family close?: mom's side nope dad's side to close
>>111. Does your family get together for holidays?: of course*sigh* it's horrible
>>112. Do you have a drunk uncle?: yes,
>>113. Any medical problems run through your family?: Cancer,both side
>>114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee?: no
>>115. Do you have any nieces or nephews?: no
>>116. Are your parents divorced?: yes thank god
>>117. Do you have stepparents?: yeah
>>118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family?: no surprising
>>119. If so for what?: read above
>>120. Did some of your family come to the United States from another country?: i'm sure they did.

Music Stuff

>>121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life:so much for my happy ending
>>122. What's the most embarrasing CD you own?: i'm not telling
>>124. What song do you absolutely hate? tim mcgraw-drugs or jesus
>>125. Do you sing in the shower? sometimes
>>126. What song reminds you of that special someone?: i could right a fucking book

Favorites
>>152. Color: Pink:)
>>153. Food: peanut butter! any chinaese food
>>154. Song: at the moment: Hawthorne Heights-ohio is for lovers

>>155. Show: inferno2
>>156. School subject: Literature/reading
>>158. Animal: dogs
>>159. Outfit: jeans & a tank top

>>160. Radio station: 94.3,104.5,107.7
>>162. Pair of shoes: any flip flops
>>163. Cartoon: Family guy
>>166. Potato chip: chili cheese -fritos
>>167. Drink: dr.pepper/mountain dew
>>168. Alcholic drink: not allowed it
>>169. Holiday: it use to be Halloween
>>170. Perfume/cologne: Lucky you
>>171. Pizza topping: pine apples
>>172. Jello flavor: cherry
>>173. Lunch meat: turkey
>>174. Board game: clue
>>175. Video game: super mario 3
>>176. Website: mindsay
>>177. Book: The Bell Jar
>>179. Number: 13
>>180. Cereal: peanut butter captain crunch!!
>>182. Dessert: chocolate lazanga
>>183. Disney character:Tinker bell
>>184. Clothing store: ?? to many
>>185. Pastime: spending time with my babies
>>187. Childhood toy:my blanket
>>188. Carnival game/ride: rollercoaster
>>189. Candy:Reese cups/reese pieces
>>190. Magazine: cozmo
>>191. Salad dressing: Ranch
>>192. Thing to do on the weekend: relax!
>>193. Hot drink: coffee
>>194. Season: fall
>>195. Sport to watch:?
>>196. Person to talk to online: my sam!!!

Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits

>>197. What color are your sheets?: white
>>198. What color are your bedroom walls?: white
>>199. Have posters on your wall?: yep
>>200. If so of what?: Kurt Cobain and other bands and people
>>201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom?: nope
>>202. How many pillows are on your bed?:6
>>203. What do you normally sleep in? t-shirt/pajama pants and tank top
>>204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: hehe to many
>>205. What size bed do you have? full
>>206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? nope
>>207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom?no don't need one i have a cell phone
>>208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? yep have to or can't sleep
>>209. Describe the last nightmare you had: nope not going into that one it's a everynight event
>>210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: yep(chris counts doesn't he?)
>>211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed?3
>>212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions?: yes
>>213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? nope
>>214. Do you snore? no
>>215. How about drool? lol yep
>>216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? yes
>>217. What color is the carpet in your room? brown
>>218. What's under your bed? shoes

This or That

>>219. Coke/Pepsi: neither, coke
>>220. Doughnuts/bagels: bagels
>>221. Day/night: night
>>222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: west
>>223. Heaven/hell: ???
>>224. Make love/have sex: making Love
>>225. Coffee/tea: coffee
>>226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: hotdogs,but only on the grill
>>227. Rap/rock: rock
>>229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: american
>>230. Real World/Road Rules: real world
>>231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: :/

>>232. Silver/gold: silver
>>233. Nike/Adidas: adidas
>>234. McDonalds/Burger King: Mcdonalds
>>235. Sweet/Sour: both
>>236. Punk/Emo: Emo
>>237. Hot/Cold: cold
>>238. Winter/Summer:Summer
>>239. Spring/Fall: Fall
>>240. Operas/Plays:Plays
>>241. Read/Watch TV: read
>>242. CD's/Tapes: Cd’s
>>243. DVDs/VHS: dvd
>>244. Old/new: either
>>245. Shorts/skirts: skirts
>>246. Pink/Red: pink
>>247. Color pictures/Black and White photos: black and white
>>248. Meat/vegetables: veggies
>>249. Mexican food/Chinese food: um... thats a good one!
>>250. Commercials/Infomercials: commercials
>>251. Scary movies/Comedies: both
>>253. Sandals/Tennis shoes: sandals
>>254. Dogs/Cats: dogs
>>255. Unicorns/Fairies:Fairies
>>256. Water/Land: water
>>257. Sugar/Spice: sugar
>>258. Black/White: gray
>>259. Ribbons/Bows: Ribbons.
>>260. Chicken/Beef: chicken
>>261. Colored Christmas lights/White Christmas lights: white
>>262. Cars/Trucks: trucks
>>263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Austin Powers
>>264. Popcorn/Pretzel: popcorn
>>265. Hip/Hop: hip
>>266. Passionate kiss/peck: passionate kiss but only from Chris
>>267. WWE wrestling/Real wrestling: neither
>>268. Backrub/foot massage: Backrub
>>269. Picture frames/Photo albums: picture frames
>>270. Pens/Pencils: pens

What Is Your Opinion Of The Following

>>271. Eminem: he makes me laugh
>>272. Sports: eh they don't interest me really
>>273. God: I'll keep that to my self thank you
>>274. The Osbournes: can you say dysfunctional family?
>>275. Reality TV: it makes me feel better about myself
>>276. J.Lo: no comment
>>277. Religion: --
>>278. Emo music: it's alright, if you're in the right mood
>>279. Valentine's Day: everyone of mine have sucked
>>280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: don't care

>>281. Homosexuals: whatever floats you boat
>>282. Abortion: your choice/no her choice
>>283. Interracial relationships: see 281
>>284. Murder: if you kill someone you should be killed in return
>>285. Death: vacation
>>286. Obesity: people control there own bodies what they do with it is none of my business
>>287. Pre-marital sex:Have it all the time

>>288. Terrorism: scares me
>>289. Pornography: hell yeah bring on the porn
>>290. Fortune tellers:Depends
>>291. Threesomes: nope no ones seeing my baby nekkid but me:)
>>292. Prostitution: why not better than giving it away for free
>>294. Country music: i like it
>>295. George W. Bush: idoit

>>296. Cloning: don't care
>>297. Britney's boobs: ....don't care really. ......
>>298. Gas prices in America: that sucks!!!!

Name Game

What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...

>>299. Jack: jill
>>300. Tiffany: breakfast
>>301. Ben: and jen
>>302. Mariah: oh i like her new song
>>303. Jennifer: lopez
>>304. Nicole: Richie
>>305. Amy: Lee
>>306. Adam: eve
>>307. Richard:?
>>308. Justin: timberlake
>>309. Arnold: hey arnold
>>310. Tom: cruise

>> 311. Melissa:my best friends girl friend
>>312. Charlotte: Good Charlotte
>>313. Harold: hey arnold cartoon
>>314. John:a friend of mine
>>315. Joel: benji
>>316. Vanessa: carlton.
>>317. Michelle: branch
>>318. Kevin: spacey
>>319. Brent: i got nuthin
>>320. Karen: see 319
>>321. Billy: Joel.
>>322. Sarah: michelle gellar.
>>323. Natalie: portman
>>324. Christy: see 319
>>325. Nick: and Jessica
>>326. Alex: .......
>>327. Taylor: ....
>>328. Jordan: .......
>>329. Jamie: ......
>>330. Adrian:......

Have You Ever. .

>>331. Mooned anyone?: y
>>332. Been on a diet?: y
>>333. Been to a foreign country?: n
>>334. Broken a bone?: y
>>335. Swallowed a tooth/Cap/Filling?: n
>>336. Sworn at a teacher?: y:)
>>337. Talked to an mindsay member via e-mails or instant messages?: mindsay y.
>>338. Gotten in a fight? Punching fight? Argue fight?: y/y/y
>>339. Dated a teacher?: n
>>340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants?: lol no
>>341. Thought about killing your enemy?: all the time,and the many ways i could accomplish this wonderful task!:)
>>342. Gone skinny dipping?: nope
>>343. Met another mindsay member in the flesh?: nope.
>>344. Told a little white lie?: yes
>>345. Told a secret you swore not to tell?: yes i can't keep them i'm so weak i love to gossip i can't help it
>>346. Used a foreign object to masturbate?: well there was this one time no i'm kidding that would be a no
>>347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: lol yeah
>>348. Been on tv?: n
>>349. Been on the radio?: no
>>350. Been in a mosh pit?: hell yeah
>>351. Been to a concert?: yep
>>353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry?: oh yeah.
>>354. Decieved somebody close to you?: no.
>>358. Been on a game show?: no
>>359. Been on an airplane?: yep last month
>>360. Gotten to ride on a firetruck?: nope
>>361. Came close to dying?: y
>>362. Cheated on a bf/gf?: nope,nope ,nope
>>363. Gave someone a piggy back ride?: yep
>>364. Terrorized a babysitter?: lol use to all the time
>>365. Made a mud pie?: no
>>366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff?: yes
>>369. Had an eating disorder?: yes
>>370. Felt like you didn't belong?: ayup
>>371. Felt like the 3rd wheel?: more than i'd like to count
>>372. Smoked?: yep
>>373. Done drugs?: yep
>>374. Stolen money from a poor person begging on the street?:no but thats kinda funny
>>375. Had your tonsils removed?: yep
>>376. Gone to camp?: yep
>>377. Won a bet?: yep
>>378. Written a love letter?: oh god yeah so many damn time
>>379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love?: yep
>>380. Written a love poem?: yes
>>381. Kissed in the rain?: yeah
>>382. Slow danced with someone you love?: nope
>>383. Participated in cyber sex?: hehehe yeah it's stupid
>>384. Stolen something from a store?: yeah
>>385. Stolen a kiss? yeah
>>386. Asked a friend for relationship advice?: oh poor lee
>>387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf?: no
>>388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone special?: nope
>>389. Gotten a speeding ticket?: nope
>>390. Done jail time?: nope
>>391. Had to wear a uniform to work?: yeah
>>392. Won a trophy?: yep
>>393. Thrown up in public?: yeah that sucks
>>394. Bowled a perfect game?: not even close.
>>395. Failed/Got held back?: yeah
>>396. Gotten perfect attendance in grade school?: hell no lol
>>397. Roasted pumpkin seeds?: yep
>>398. Taken Ballet lessons?: yep
>>399. Attempted suicide?: yup
>>400. Cut yourself?: yup

Childhood Stuff

>>401. Did you play with Barbies?: lol yep
>>402. Did you own Treasure Trolls?: haha yes!
>>403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? yep
>>407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? yep
>>408. Did you wear underwear with the days of the week on there butts? nope
>>409. Were you shy?: yeah
>>410. Were you spoiled?: yeah
>>411. Were you abused?: -----
>>412. Did you go to the circus?: once
>>413. Did you go to the zoo?: yep...
>>414. Were you in a car accident?: yeah couple of times
>>415. Did you build snowmen?: yes
>>416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee?: nope i just hit my brother
>>417. Were your older cousins mean to you?: no i was one of the older ones
>>418. Did you think slinkies were cool?: yeah and still do :)
>>419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer?yeah i so did

>>420. Were you afraid of the dark? no
>>421. Did you have slumber parties? nope
>>422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, sleeping bags and pajamas? omg yeah
>>424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? no

Randomness

>>425. Do you believe in aliens? no
>>426. Name 3 things that are next to your computer: cell phone,cigarettes and an ash tray
>>427. Any hidden talents?no
>>428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? yes they use to ya know thats not just a myth
>>429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? drama
>>430. What would your movie star name be?ummm......
>>431. Do you play any sports? nope
>>432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? i don't know
>>433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? ????
>>435. Do you drive? yep
>>436. What is your dream car? i wanna a truck:(
>>438. Do others think you are good looking? no.
>>439. Would you ever sky dive? no

>>440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? no
>>442. Are you afraid of roller coasters?yeah but thats why i love them.
>>443. Do you believe in God? yes
>>444. Do you believe in Satan? yes
>>445. Do you believe there is a heaven? yes
>>446. Do you believe there is a hell? yes
>>447. Do you own a pool table? no
>>448. Do you have a pool? no
>>449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? nope
>>450. Do you like chocolate? yes
>>451. Who/What is on your 2004 calendar? i don't have one
>>453. Ever wished on a shooting star? once, when i was younger.
>>454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? to many to pick from
>>455. Do you carry any weapons on you? no.
>>456. What is your weakness? another person's kindness
>>457. Name something you can't get enough of: Chris!
>>458. Do you ever want to get married? yeah
>>459. How many kids do you want to have?2 already got one haha half way there

>>462. What is your ideal way to die? in my sleep
>>463. How do you vent? either talk with someone, music
>>464. Are you a trendy person? not really
>>465. Are you an artistic person? i'd say yeah.
>>466. Are you a realistic person? haha. no.
>>467. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? no.
>>468. Are you a strong person? yes.
>>469. Are you a strong-willed person? yes.
>>470. Who was the last person to e-mail you? Lee
>>471. Who was the last person to IM you? tabby
>>472. Do you hate chain e-mails? yes (sam i do)
>>473. Are you a deep sleeper? yes
>>474. Are you a good story teller? yeah
>>475. What do you believe is your best quality? being goofy
>>476. What is your greatest accomplishment? My Daughter
>>477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? everynow and then
>>479. Do you have your own credit card? no chris keeps taking the apps. away
>>480. Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money? spend it all no j/k i dunno
>>481. Do you have a checkbook?yes
>>484. What color is your hair naturally? dark brown
>>486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? i dunno
>>487. Is the glass half full or half empty? half empty
>>489. Worst feeling in the world? rejection
>>488. Best feeling in the world? love
>>489. Last website you were at? mindsay
>>490. Last thing you downloaded? ?????
>>491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? nope
>>492. What do you think people think of you? that i'm really goofy
>>493. Are you a likeable person? sure why not
>>494. Do you need therapy?my therapist said i did
>>495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? yeah i use to
>>496. What the best way to propose to someone? ummmm......
>>498. Fed Ex and UPS were to merge. FED UP
>>499. What's your favorite phrase? lol......... i dunno
>>500. What are you thinking right now? will this thing never end!!!!!! oh wait it did cool

MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE LYRICS

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-31T08:05:38-05:00

ok you know what song this is and im totally clueless why it reminds u of me so explain your self Mr.Bell!! <3

"Shut Me Up"

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fuckin' minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fucking minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I don't buy your body right now (right now)
I'm almost over my body right now (now)
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)

I don't buy your body right now (right now)
I'm almost over my body right now (now)
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)

Because the break, the break, the break

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-05-31T11:05:46-05:00

The distance and my hearts to sand
Flowing through the hour glass.
I fall to pieces, I can't let go
Of all the times I never said goodbye.

Just say that it's over,
It's over and she's gone.
(NOW... SHE'S...GONE)

Don't worry he said,
and she's not coming home.
(SHE'S....NOT...COMING...HOME)

-hawthorne heights-life on standby

I really shouldn't be surprised i knew this would happen i don't know why i tried to convience myself it wouldn't happen but i'll try to move and try not to think to much on it,nothing can be done about it anyways,it happens and now its happened to us oh well whats a girl to do but grin and bare it :(

To Chris another entry for your eyes only and i except a response to this Mr.

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-01T01:06:00-05:00

* questions you have to answer!!!!!

What you think about me.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
1» *I died from natural causes:
2» *I kissed you:
3» I lived next door to you:
4» *I was hospitalized:
5» *I ran away from home:
6» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
7» *Personality:
8» *Eyes:
9» Hair:
10» *Family:

WOULD YOU:
11» Be my friend?:
12» *Keep a secret if I told you one?:
13» *Hold my hand?:
14» *Take a bullet for me?:
15» *Keep in touch?:
16» *Try and solve my problems?:
17» *Love me?:

HAVE YOU EVER:
18» *Lied to make me feel better?:
19» *Wanted to kiss me?:
20» *Wanted to kill me?:
21» *Broke my heart?:
22» *Kept something important from me?:
23» **Thought I was unbearably annoying?:

And More-
24. When and how did we meet?
25. *Describe me in one word.
26. *What was your first impression?
27. *Do you still think that way about me now?
28. *What reminds you of me?
29.* If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
30. When's the last time you saw me?
31. *Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
32. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?

some where delete cause it was questions like "would you date me" and those were pretty stupid considering it was you !:)

Today was decent ,but last night was great!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-01T05:06:50-05:00

I got up for school today,and it was a decent day.There was nothing that really stressful. When i returned from school,however,I had a great day.Why you may ask? Because Chris was still asleep in my bed. He called late last night to tell me he was coming over.He was trying to surprise me but that really didn't work out that way considering he left a entry about it on his journal.I'm so happy thing between me and Chris are going extremly well we haven't been fighting and thing are just great! I so happy i feel like i could just float away:D which is really unusual for me but it's not a bad felling:) lol

I'm so glad he's finally happy

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-01T10:06:31-05:00

I love having a boyfriend that everytime he sees me just grabs me and kisses me*sigh* <3 <3, i'm so very much in love! and the best part is so is he like the other day was my frist day of college, and when i left to go to school i was about to get in my car and there was a single pink rose(pink is my favorite color) a pack of cigarettes (yeah i smoke way to much) reese cups(i'm obessed with peanut butter) and a burnt c.d ( music is a huge part of both of our lifes i love when he makes me cds of songs that remind him of me its the third one i've gotten) and a little note telling me to have a good day and that he loved me. and to do my homework:P he's so over protected!!!!! It's just things like that that lets me know he thinks about me and if you read he's journal too it's the plan that made him feel better(isn't that sweet) i couldn't ask for a better boyfriend!!!! i know ya'll are prolly getting sick of hearing about how wonderful he is! but sorry can't help it i'm helplessly in love with my baby and now there is no doubt in my mind that we're going to work out this time,i think we can both agree that our time apart was the hugest mistake ever!! but now we have absoultly nothing to worry about

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-02T08:06:48-05:00

i keep geting these really random people viewing my journal they never have a profile or an entry one even deleted theirs

Nice people with no profile who are you ?:)

today is going to be.......... lacking

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-04T09:06:04-05:00

I get to go get my wisdom teeth pulled today (let try to contain my enthusaism) that going to be fun my friend Lisa has my daughter ro day when she left she was all excited 'cause she got to go bye-bye with Sissy,so later i'm going to be all druged up but hopefully it won't last long because i still have my effects esay due Monday and i haven't even finished my intro :( i'll write more later!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-05T03:06:30-05:00

It's 3:30 a.m and usually i'm a sleep by now,but i'm in pain and the pain killers my doctor gave me aren't strong enough and when i attempt to sleep i wake up from bleeding to much or ...thats right you guess it the pain that run from my chin to my jaw to my head giving me a wonderful migrane, oh yes i'm having a blast which i believe this could all have been a void it they would have givin me pain killers a not little pieces of white chalk they call hydros (their only 5's) so i'm in Hell my own little personal hell and better yet i'm in this hell alone! yeppie!!!! Oh my god i need a cigarette please some take pity and give me something to smoke that won't make the pain worse :( oh yeah and still haven't started on my essay. yeah i'm fucked:(

people stopping by

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-05T09:06:39-05:00

it's weird when people i don't know come to my journal and read it but then they don't reply it makes you wonder what they read how much of it and what are they thinking,

This isn't just for random people i also wonder the same thing about me boy friend like why you get on my journal and read whatever it is that struck your fancey but then you don't post anything on your journal why is that? huh i dunno may be he'll reply this time i dunno?? but i guess i should prolly stop avoiding my essay and do it

When we all stood in line to get our happy days assigned...I must of over slept!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T11:06:15-05:00

Okay well mouth is still killing me,i kept waking up last night, i got NO sleep but i did get my essay done for english, which i hope it made some sorta of sense although i seriously doubt it, i went up to pellissippi this morning to turn it in i didn't stay for class though ,i have to wash my fucking pillow cases to day because my mouth started bleeding during one of my short sleeping periods and i didn't know it, almost fell asleep on the way up to school too,and on my way back when i thinking that this was going to be a shity day guess what....My Car DIED and won't start back the fucking battery was smoking!! so my step-dad is gone to try to fix it,so yeah my day has sucked thus far,oh and my real father called it wouldn't of made my worse if i didn't hate him so much i haven't talked to him since March and i was really happy about that but for some reason he called today i', gald he called when i was on three-way with my mom and friend Lisa, i didn't know it untill i heard the voicemail. but i guess that about it right now i'm feeling really dizy and light head so i'll write more later:(

ok people agree or disagree???

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T01:06:54-05:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T01:06:31-05:00

i need a new layout but i want something original so if anyone can make layouts please feel free to comment:D

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T02:06:13-05:00

You Were Actually Born Under:

You are solid, methodical, and you do things right the first time. Even when no one else does, you always believe in yourself. You tend to see the world in black and white, right or wrong. A good memory and eye for details means you tend to thrive at near impossible tasks. You are most compatible with a Snake or Rooster.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

Delicate, timid, and attractive - sometimes you really do act like a bunny. You're very compassionate and protective of those you love, sometimes too protective. Your home is really your castle, and you make sure your home is comfortable and well furnished. You don't like to argue - and you prefer a quiet, peaceful life. You are most compatible with a Goat or a Pig.

What Year Were You Born Under?

Evanescence

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T02:06:10-05:00

How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me

Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you

How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

Everyone leaves me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
I can't stay here another night

Your secret admirer
Who could it be

Ooh, Can't you see
All along it was me
How can you be so blind
As to see right through me

And Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

This song sooo reminds me of chris and all the stupid arguments i cause

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T02:06:41-05:00

EVANESCENCE
"Forgive Me"

Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-06T03:06:13-05:00

I miss my Chris :(

um ok

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-07T12:06:13-05:00

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Lee is your soulmate.

You truly love Chris.

You consider Bobby your true friend.

You know that Lisa is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Chris for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Melissa is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Sam is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Dawn is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Dawn changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Ash is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Ash has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

Envy : 60% Lust : 40% Pride : 40% Wrath : 40%

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-07T01:06:22-05:00

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 60%

Lust: 40%

Pride: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Greed: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 31%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

My name:) A is for Altruistic M is fo

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-07T01:06:30-05:00

AMBER
A	is for	Altruistic
M	is for	Musical
B	is for	Bubbly
E	is for	Enlightened
R	is for	Radical

What Does Your Name Mean?

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-07T11:06:59-05:00

i'm in class right now and i'm bored and chris will KILL me if he sees that i'm writing on here during class!:) shhhhh! no one tell him okay

it's been an okay day

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-07T04:06:27-05:00

Actually went to class today i'm so gald i only have one class right now!!! i could barely stay awake i told Monica(the girl that sat beside me) to poke me if i fell asleep she asked me if i was still on pain killers and i told her yeah so she said she understood and won't poke me that hard,cause she's been there ! yeah shes a sweetheart i finished another essay in class i'll prolly score low on it too but i'm going to try to get my brother to read over the rest that i write so he can fix them before i turn them in(thats right Dan i'm going to put that UT education to work it's not like you use it,lol) other than that i was excited that our next few essays where going to be on animal assisted therepy,basicaly to the affects animals have in a clinical enviroment which is awesome cause that touches on psyc. which is soon tho me by major!!! yeppie anyways i've pretty much played "the sims" all day and i'm going to burn chris a cd of various song so if anyone knows any good song that they want to suggest feel free to leave a comment he likes bands like blink-182,NFG,hawthorne heights,greenday ya know stuff like that mostly punk and Emo so yeah anyways leave comments and random stuff <3 Am

Today kinda evened out i would say

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-08T09:06:16-05:00

Yet another BAD morning before class i can't wait to get my own place!!! which will hopefully be very very soon,(everyone cross your fingers,pray what have you ) and school sucked my professor kinda bruised my ego but i'll survive.but when i got home i had a letter waiting on me from NORM!!!!! I was so excited mainly because it means he is still alive thank god i worry about my "big brother" being in Iraq! then my good friend Lisa called and told me she got paid today and wanted to take me out to lunch which i thought she was just being mean cause she know i can't eat i just got my wisdom teeth taken out but she was like no what ever you want where ever you want . so we went to O'Charley's they have the best potatoe soup ever i was all happy...... i went to the E.R. last night my wonderful boyfriend made me go yeah they think i may have dry socket on one side but i'll live and thats really about it i'll write more later in more detail, <3 Am

Sam YOU have to do this!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-09T09:06:59-05:00

AM I (Yes or No):
ugly?
kind?
quiet?
loud?
shy?
typical?
weird?
selfish?
crazy?
attractive?
cute?
pretty?
sexy?
nice?
mean?
immature?
rude?
cool?
a brat?
a bitch?
stupid?
caring?
mature?
a friend?
more than a friend?
your best friend?
talkative?
boring?
creative?
smart?
a flirt?
emotional?
slutty?
a psycho?
athletic?
confusing?
sweet?
moody?
annoying?
funny?
hyper?
laid back?
perfect?
awesome?
your role-model?

JUST SOME QUESTIONS:
1. Do you know my phone number? If so, type the last four digits:
2. Do you think I'll get married?
3. If you do, who do you think I'll marry?
4. When is my birthday?
5. Who is my best friend?
6. Where did you and I meet?
7. Have you ever had a dream about me?
8. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
9. Describe me in 3-5 words:
10. Do you think I'm a virgin?
11. If you could tell me anything, what would it be?
12. If you could ask me anything, what would it be?
13. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
14. Are we good friends?
15. Do you trust me?
16. What is something you admire most about me?
17. What is something you dislike most about me?

PERSONAL:
1. I am the _______ person you know.
2. Would you ever kiss-kiss me?
3. Would you want to be my bf/gf?
4. Do you ever think about me offline?
5. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much do you think of me each day?
6. Would you ever ask me out?
7. Right now, what is the chance of that happening (in %)?
8. Have you ever had a crush on me?
9. Do you still?
10. On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate my body?
11. On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate my personality?
12. Physically, what's my best feature?
13. Mentally, what's my best feature?

EVERYONE:
11. What is one thing you would want to tell me before I died?
12. What do you think about me in general?
13. Was this totally pointless?
14. Will you make me fill this out about you next time?

stolen from southpacific02 thanx girly:)

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-10T12:06:07-05:00

Sitting out at the apartment with the boys and Melisa and Melisa's best friend Kristian is here we were watching a movie and melisa was all laying on Kristina and stuff and it made me miss my Sam and the days when we could do stuff like that they had went shooping and stuff together before they came out here which made me miss last month when me and Sam were together for a short while again it's hard not having her here she was my best friend if only for a sort while she was the only friend that loved and supported me unconditional and she still does even though she is 5,000 thousand miles away it hard knowing the next time i see her prolly won't be for 6 more months!!!! and then will only be for about 2 weeks max her and her husband are trying to start a family and it bothers me to think that i won't be able to be there for it the way she was here for me but there absoutlly nothing i can do about it i knew it would be hard when she made the decision to move hell i was the only one that told her it was a good idea and support her decision how could i have been selfish and tell her to stay here when i knew what she really wanted was to move with her soon to be husband he is the love of her life and as much as we may need each they need each other even more!! I just hope she knows how much i love and miss her and i hope she feels the same way!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-10T07:06:25-05:00

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band- A Perfect Circle

Are you female or male-Sleeping beauty
Describe yourself- the outsider
How do some people feel about you-the stranger
How do you feel about yourself- Hollow
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend- weak and powerless
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend- the nurse how loved me
Describe where you want to be- Vanishing
Describe what you want to be- Freedom of choice
Describe how you live- yesterday's today

Describe how you love- Ashes to Ashes
Share a few words of wisdom- people are people

This one requires abit more thought and creativity

***I stole this off a friends journal off deadjournal but he won't mind

**I LOVE YOU NORM**

Come home soon! (he's in Iraq)

hehehe look baby!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-11T05:06:40-05:00

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too! Are You a Good Girlfriend? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-11T05:06:56-05:00

Your Aura is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-12T01:06:28-05:00

not sure how this day is going to turn out hopefully it will be good though

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-12T11:06:54-05:00

i got new shoes today *does alittle dance* :)

Am I more than you bargained for - fall out boy

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-14T08:06:34-05:00

Stolen from darksunshine *hugs*

basics…
:x: name: Am

:x: height: 5'3 and 1/2(hey the boyfriend is 6'3 i need i take that extra half an inch:)
:x: shoe size: 8
:x: hair: brown redish color(this week)
:x: siblings: 5

:x: eyes: brown
:x: hometown: Knoxville,Tn

:x: favorite place: Sam's house
:x: favorite soda: Mountain Dewor cherry vanilla dr.pepper
:x: game system: Super Nintendo

:x: favorite food: chinaese food or fetticini alfredo from the olive garden

:x: favorite book: The bell jar
:x: favorite pen: my 6 dollar pen that lee has ( i want it back biotch)
:x: favorite car: i would perfer a truck,but gas prices blah blah blah
:x: favorite animal: white tigers

:x: waterbrand: none
:x: favorite burger place: fudruckers
:x: favorite hobby: listen to music
:x: favorite friends: Sam,lisa,dawn and Lee
:x: bar or club: Tonic (it's hip hop mostly)
:x: favorite vitamins: i don't take them
:x: favorite show: don't watch alot of t.v lately
:x: favorite news: none it's all bad news anyways!
:x: gold or silver: silver
:x: favorite dog: maltese

:x: cell phone co.: they all suck

:x: favorite shirt: to many to choose from
:x: favorite sport: dance
:x: favorite alcohol: Jack Daniels strait (use to me my best friend:))
:x: favorite computer: not mine
:x: favorite fruit: grapes and cherries
:x: favorite song: changes daily but today is Tsunami bomb-what you really mean
:x: ketchup or salsa: ketchup
:x: favorite milkshake: strawberry

:x: steak or lobster: never had lobester,but i don't like steak
:x: favorite color: pink:)
:x: favorite weather:the weather here around halloween:)
:x: favorite state:Hawaii

Do you…
:x: have a crush on someone:lol no

:x: wish you could live somewhere else: YES
:x: think about suicide: have before aside effect of my severe depression
:x: believe in online dating: hell why not if it makes you happy go for it

:x: think others find you attractive:others do but i disagree
:x: want more piercings: i think i got enough
:x: like cleaning: hell no
:x: like roller coasters: yeah i guess
:x: write in cursive or print: print

You...
:x: last talked to: my mom
:x: last thought of: that i'm hungry
:x: last showered: last night w/ Chris:D

:x: last cut your nails:nope don't do it i perfer them long
:x: last did laundry: the other day
:x: last hugged a tree: lol i don't think i've ever done it
:x: last watched anime: i dunno i guess the last time Chris made me
:x: last prayed: oh uhhh damn need to get on that one shit

for or against…
:x: long distant relationships: for i've seen them work out
:x: killing people: depends on the sisutation
:x: teenage smoking: lol i started when i was 12 lol
:x: driving drunk: sadly i've done it but i'm against it and will never do it again

:x: gay/lesbian relationships: considering my own personal choice i can't be against it
:x: soap operas: they steal your brain (right SAm)

have you…
:x: ever cried over a guy: yesterday actually lol
:x: ever been in a fist fight: yep!
:x: ever been arrested: nope but close
:x: ever had a friend die: yea
:x: ever dated a cousin: no, i may live in the south but thats just sick

:x: ever used a gun: yep (thats a very scarey thought for those that really know me!)
:x: ever finished a puzzle: lol yeah
:x: ever got surgery: yeah
:x: ever got beat up: only by my brother
:x: ever hated someone: yes several people i have a list want to see?
:x: ever made a huge mistake: yeah i can't count how many times

:x: ever tried any drugs: yep
:x: ever jogged a mile: yep but i was forced!
:x: ever played w/ someone’s feelings: sadly yes but they deserved it
:x: ever had feelings for someone young: no

what…
:x: shoes do you wear: flip flops

:x: are you scared of: being alone,unloved and unimportant to anyone
:x: do you sleep in: depends on the house i'm at *wink wink*

:x: did you eat for lunch: leftovers:P

:x: is love: i'm not going into that one

number…
:x: of times I have had my heart broken?: really broken 3times and yes by the same person

:x: of hearts I have broken?: only 2

:x: of girls I have kissed?: um... uh i know it's less than 5
:x: of boys I have kissed?: lol i don't remeber there have been some drunken nights!
:x: of guys/girls you've rejected?: a couple
:x: of drugs you taken: 2-3
:x: of accidents you been in: 3
:x: of people you lead on? lol like maybe 4

:x: of people you broke up with?: like 5 i think

do you think you are…
:x: pretty: nope

:x: funny: i think i am but chris disagrees (but he isn't funny either *shhhh* don't tell him i said that though

:x: hot: nope

:x: friendly: i try to be but some people don't get my personailty so it somes of as bitchy or mean
:x: ugly: yep
:x: loveable: i hope so
:x: caring: yes
:x: dorky: at times i guess
:x: cocky: no. not really
:x: girly: some times i do get pissed if i break a nail
:x: boyish: in certain ways like my mouth and they way i use to drink
:x: smart:hope so
:x: pimp: lol no

:x: angel: lol i try i really do!!!!

:x: gangster: okay thats just stupid
:x: god: no

favorite…
:x: five letter word: spank

:x: comedian: Ron White

:x: candy: Reese cups!
:x: cartoon: family guy
:x: cereal: reese cup ceral/peanut butter captian crunch

:x: chewing gum: winterfresh
:x: day of week: thursdays

:x: least fave day: mondays
:x: jello flavor: strawberry
:x: summer/winter: winter
:x: trampolines or swimming pool: pool

person who last…
:x: slept in your bed: me and chris
:x: saw you cry: lilli

:x: made you cry: chris

:x: you went to the movies with: brandon oh my god that was a while ago
:x: yelled at you: lilli
:x: sent you an email: SAM

have you ever…
:x: said "i love you" and meant it?: yep today actually
:x: gone out in public in your pajamas?: yep

:x: kept a secret from everyone?: yep
:x: cried during a movie?: yep

:x: ever at anytime owned new kids on the block?: lol yes i admit i did i loved them i'm so shamed!!!!!!

:x: planned your week based on the TV Guide?: yeah i have
:x: been on stage?: yep
:x: been to New York?: nope
:x: been to California?:nope
:x: been to Florida? yep
:x: Hawaii?: yep!!!!!!!!!!!!
:x: China?:nope
:x: Canada?: nope
:x: Europe?: nope
:x: what time is it now?: 8:26

:x: apples or bananas?: apples
:x: blue or red?: blue
:x: walmart or target?: wal-mart
:x: spring or fall?: fall
:x: what are you gonna do after you finish this?: eat

:x: what was the last meal you ate?: lunch
:x: are you bored?:yep
:x: last noise you heard?:my daughter getting into something!!!
:x: last smell you sniffed?: smoke

:x: last time you went out of state/province?:april i went to hawaii

friendship/love…
:x: do you believe in love at first sight?:nope but there is lust at first sight
:x: do you want children one day & if so, how many?: i already have one but a little boy wouldn't hurt many many many many years from now

:x: most important thing to you in a friendship is?: trust.

random stuff…
:x: criminal record?: nope
:x: do you speak any other languages?: nope
:x: name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: my stereo, my bookcase, my painting of my daughter as a fairy that my friend Norm did for me for mothers day last year

:x: piercings and where?: 4 in each ear,tongue,nipples navel and nose
:x: worst feeling in the world?: be told your not loved just hearing "i don't love you anymore"!!!!!!!
:x: who do you love: Chris and Lilli and sam

your…
:x: nickname(s): Am,darlin,babydoll

:x: initials: ALMH
:x: how old do you look? : hopefully 19

:x: how old do you act?: 19
:x: glasses/contacts?: both
:x: braces: nope

:x: do you have any pets?: nope

:x: What makes you embarrassed?: compliments, and my daughter throwing a fit in public

:x: what upsets you?: a lot ....

Chris your not allowed to do this one, sorry babe

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-14T11:06:38-05:00

i stole this from meangirl1985 yes i'm a thief i know okay but this one is fun!!!! and anyone can play except Chris!!!!!

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play!
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play!
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from!
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly

*Playlist*

1.so deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me off guard redhanded and now i'm far from lonely.

2.he gots pictures on the wall of all the girls he loved before.

3.please stay until i'm gone,i'm here hold on,i'm right here waiting

4.She bought him a skateboard, a rail slide, his knee tore
He traded it for drums at the local pawn shop

5.say you will understand say you will take my hand and will take our chances.

6.I strain my eyes and tryTo tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites

7.And if I bleed, I'll bleed,Knowing you don't care.And if I sleep just to dream of youI'll wake without you there,

8.Everybody wants charm and a smile and a promiseI promise not to try.

9.I'm just a notch in your bedpost,But you're just a line in a song

10.I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call Or say anything at all

11.I fall to pieces, I can't let go Of all the times I never said goodbye

12.Wind strong in my face, I'm still staggering through I'm closer to the ground than I will ever get to you

13.You're the beauty that is deeper,Than eyes can merely see.The closest thing to perfect.But the farthest thing from me.

14.Take back all the things I said To make you feel like that And I
Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was something I missed

15.We waste away the days with nicotine and television samples
From an era we hate to admit we embrace

16.And what's the worst you take from every heart you break And like the blade you stain Well I've been holding on tonight

17.If you marry me,Would you bury me?Would you carry me to the end?

18.And it just kills me how they get away with murder They'll anger you then bat their eyes Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize

19.If I could be your first real heartache,I would do it over again.

20.she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and the killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.

21.so come around again and i'll show you what i mean And you can tell me exactly what you need

22.We could take our heads off stay in bed just make love that's all
Just stay with me now

23.Don't walk on eggshells for me I'm not as fragile as you think
Stop making your words fancy Why say "I don't know" When you actually do?

24.Life's the only thing that deals the pain Like pouring rain
Breeding hate And I don't wanna do no wrong

25.she dreams that he'll come by the store she prays for days
when boys mean she's protected

if it's in green its been guessed okay:D

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-15T12:06:43-05:00

new journal up and running:) as of tomorrow check your inboxs you may have a new person that added you it's prolly me, goodnight all

<3 Am

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-15T08:06:24-05:00

i had a wonderful day i went to the mall with my mom(i know i'm 19 and a mother so i shouldn't hang out with my mom!!!) but i'm also a obessive shopper with NO job so yeah i got the new fall out boy and The starting line cd!!!!! and a new skirt :) to wear out tomorrow night hopeful if my mom will babysit!!!!! and a new book "Prozac Nation" as someone thats been medicated because of emotional disorders it should make for interesting reading:)

I saw chris to day while he was at work i stopped by there to drop off his burnt cd and that was it i gave it to him and left i'm doing good at giving him his space i think i didn't call or text message him today unless he texted me then i just texted back i think it actually kinda hurt his feeling that i didn't hang around like i normally do but he wanted space and i told him i'd give it to him and i am and i'm doing a damn good job surprisingly enough (i tend to be a very dependent person!) i'm proud of myself :) but i guess thats about it for now i really have nothing else to ramble about so i'll shut up:P

<3Am

lol this ones kinda funny

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-17T03:06:18-05:00

You are a perfect princess! You are every queens
dream, amazingly beautiful, a joy for the
spotlight and your dream is to get married and
have a proud royal family. If any paparazzi
come after you, one wink and an innocent smile
is all it takes to dumbfound them. You have an
immense sense of duty and would never go
against the wishes of your family. You spend
your time flicking through magazines looking
for the latest clothes and jewellery. This
doesnt mean youre an airhead though! Behind
your striking appearance lies an amazing mind.
You have the ability to conjure up the wittiest
sayings and are immensely intelligent. Such a
combination of intelligence, creativity, power
and beauty is often intimidating to those
around you.

Which proud princess are you? (Dazzling pics and detailed results!)
brought to you by Quizilla

i'll use your words against you

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-17T11:06:19-05:00

(I miss you, I miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-18T03:06:27-05:00

ok now i'm realllllllllly fucking bored i need someone to amuse me

ok this is a little fucked up ..lol

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-18T02:06:45-05:00

Ok my 2 year old daughter is obessed with the cartoon Teen Titans i don't know if any of you have seen this show are not but they have a character on their name Raven which is kinda a mysterious little girl or whatever point being she meditaes (sp)and now so does my two year old i'll walk in the living room and she'll be sitting cross legged on the floor with her little hands out beside her chatting so weird little gibberish. i dunno i thought it was kinda funny and wanted to share :D

<3 Am

A Trip down memory lane

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-18T07:06:01-05:00

Me and my friend Lisa were coming back from lunch and the mall and was at a stop light, the guy in the next car rolled down his window pointed at me and screamed "it's you!" i was a little weirded out but lisa started talking to him like she knew him and i was loike how the fuck is that and she said "Shane!" I couldn't believe it this was the sweetest guy that i hung out with ALOT when i was pregaent and i hadn't seen him since my daughter was a few months old he was with my friend Jason! Jason use to be like a big brother to me! so we pulled in to the gas station across the street and sat and talk to them for almost an hour!!! Shane was always the sweetest guy yeah he's a pot head but he was just different and i miss hanging out with him maybe next weekend i'll give him a call and go hang out it's be sooooo damn long!! he didn't even looked the same i think he was just as surprised to see me hence the pointing and screaming it's you lol anyways thats all for now i'll write more later <3 Am

i've been dying2tell u anything u wanna hear cause,thats just who i am this week

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-20T11:06:37-05:00

been listening to fall out boy all day can you tell?

am i more than you bargained for

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-20T11:06:39-05:00

I am worth $1,491,630 on HumanForSale.com

The ribbon on my wrist says, "Do not open before Christmas."

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-21T02:06:51-05:00

Ugh! it's been such a boring day! Sissy on her way over! YAY! it's never boring when she's around i'm sure we'll either get in trouble or do something goofy and not get caught! haha amyways

To the random person that I.Med me:

i'm sorry i was awya from my computer i.m me again or leave me a comment here and i promise this time i'll get back to you okay!:)

alright bye guys! <3 Am

Surprise,Surpri...

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-21T09:06:27-05:00

I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you.
And I probably always will.
I can't afford to make another mistake like this,
'Cause this is more than I can take.
I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own devise.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise.

Fine, just let me lie here for a while,
'Cause I'll be staying up, yeah hanging up all night.
Oh, I'm spent of all attention that I've given.
To a hopeless case, to a sharp headache, to a choice you make
To the reason why I, to the reason why I say.

I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you.
And I probably always will.
I can't afford to make another mistake like you.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
Surprise, surprise.

Boredom help me

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-21T09:06:32-05:00

Boredom is killing me someone please HELP me

ok that may have been a little dramatic

but i am bored :D

Never seen a 2 year old clean so well

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-21T10:06:09-05:00

ok another random story about my daughter!! hehehe i know ya'll love these. My Daughter like i said has an obession with Teen Titans and i got her some teen titans ice cream, well today she wanted one and i told her she could have one if she picked up her toys out of the living room because it was almost bed time,so about 10 mins. later she came up to me and told me she was done, so when i went in to the living room it was spotless i swear it looked like she vacumed too but ya know a 2 year old can't but needless to say she got her ice cream and was a happy little monkey :)

This ones a little strange

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-22T06:06:35-05:00

blognapped from southpacific02

my answer really came out true it was fucking weird!!!

follow the

instructions to the "t" you'll be

surprised!!!!

Take 3 minutes and try this...it will

freak

you out! This game

has a

funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It

takes

about three minutes...it's worth a try

First..get a pen and paper. When you

actually

choose names, make sure it's people you

actually

know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't

read

ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in

a

column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write

down any

two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the

names

of

members of the opposite sex.

NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT

WON"T

TURN OUT RIGHT!

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or

family....) in the 4th, 5th,

and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10,

and

11.

GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game.....

1. You must tell (the number in space 2)

people

about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that

you

love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but

can't

work

out.

4. You care most about the person you

put in

4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is

the

one

who

knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky

star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches

with

the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person

in

7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells

you

most about YOUR mind.

10. and 11 is the song telling you how

you

feel

about life

NOW...post this bulletin (dont reply) within

the

hour... IF you do..

your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-22T08:06:16-05:00

FALL OUT BOY LYRICS

"Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows)"

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
We never stood a chance
And I'm not sure if it matters
If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons
I’m mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town
(your secret's out)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over (you don't don't) matter

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But it must be said again that all us boys are just screaming
Into microphones for attention
Because we're just so bored
We never knew that you would pick it apart, oh
I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts
(your secret's out)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over (you don't don't) matter

I used to obsess over living,
Now I only obsess over you
Tell me you'd like boys like me better
In the dark lying on top of you
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters [x4]

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over (you don't don't don't don't) matter

[Talking:]
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left

Touch up !!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-23T11:06:49-05:00

YAY!!! i'm going today to get my favorite tattoo(the lilly on my back) touched up!!! it should be oddly relaxing and i would get my fourth if i had the money! damn it i hate being broke! awww but at least i'm getting the touch up at 3 i hope Anna takes her time!!

gasp men can be drama queens too!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-23T10:06:06-05:00

I'm over all this drama going on and the worse part is,it's pointless unprovoked bullshit! but hopefully it will all be taken care of tonight!! i know it'll be stressful baby but i love you and please control your temper! and no matter what happens i'm always on your side!!!!!

anyways went and got my tattoo touched up today that was awesome i thought maybe if i got the ones i all ready have touched up then it would decrease the desire to get more ugh nope i was wrong i all ready picked out another one *sigh* i just need money now and to decide excatly were to put it i do know it's going somewhere on the right side of my body 2 are on my left arm and one is on my back right below the nape of my neck so now i need to even it out :D and i decided on a shooting star! it has sentimental value so it only makes sense and then my fairy only reason i'm not getting a fairy next is because i can't find one thats perfect maybe if i knew someone that could draw and would take it upon themself to draw one for me because they know i've been wanting one i wouldn't have that problem *cough chris cough* aways i think pretty much every girl i know hates atleast one guy all i've heard all damn day is "guys fucking suck" lol which it's usually being said about the guy they like/love,but i'm not hating the one i'm in love with right now so i'm fine my baby has enough problems right now but thats about it i guess i'm fucking bored as hell but that every night so ......

Goodnight

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-24T01:06:38-05:00

goodnight everybody :D

cut my wrist and black eyes so i can fall asleep tonight

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-24T11:06:29-05:00

Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-26T10:06:18-05:00

i'm better much hating my life right now! :(

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-27T04:06:00-05:00

my night started to get better then at the end it just went all down hill*sigh*

Joy division- love will tear us apart

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-27T10:06:04-05:00

When routine bites hard, And ambitions are low,

And resentment rides high, But emotions won't grow,

And we're changing our ways, Taking different roads.

Then love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again.

Why is the bedroom so cold?

You've turned away on your side.

Is my timing that flawed?

Our respect runs so dry.

Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives.

But love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again.

You cry out in your sleep,

All my failings exposed.

And there's a taste in my mouth,

As desperation takes hold.

Just that something so good Just can't function no more.

But love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again.

i love this song! i found it ........well just d/l it and see

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-28T02:06:25-05:00

BUTCH WALKER

Best Thing You Never Had

Hello how you doing?
What's it like to ruin all my self esteem
Let me blow off some steam
For 5 years I've waited,
So why am I jaded to get back at you
What makes it cool

When you act like nothing ever happened
I feel like I should feel bad
But I can't like someone who thought
They're the only one that mattered
I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke this down
The best thing that you never had

And it seems like a loss somehow
My heart got lost on the way to my head
And my brain cells are dead
And the craziness shows
Now I start to go when the green turns to red
And I should be dead

When you act like nothing ever happened
I feel like I should feel bad
But I can't like someone who thought
They're the only one that mattered
While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill
My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter
And I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke this down
The best thing that you never had

Like the toilet seat never got lifted
And I pissed on your confidence
When you weren't around, how can that be?
Don't turn this around
You were the one
Who drove my ass right to the ground

When you act like nothing ever happened
I feel like I should feel bad, and I can't like

Someone who thought
They're the only one that mattered
While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill
My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter
And I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke this down
You broke this down
The best thing, the best thing,
The best thing that you never had

You never had...

ugggghh

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-28T02:06:35-05:00

i start back to work in the morning and i don't wanna go :(

i need to take a pill to make this town feel ok

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-28T03:06:26-05:00

i wish i could fix the past

i wish i could believe the words that come out of your mouth

i wish i could be your future

i wish i could make everything better

i wish i could make you care again

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-28T04:06:31-05:00

When you act like nothing ever happened
I feel like I should feel bad
But I can't like someone who thought
They're the only one that mattered
I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke this down
The best thing that you never had

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-29T04:06:22-05:00

To Sheena!!!!{rocknrollangel } i thought this song was fitting for us and our sisuation!!and don't forget to do a little dance!!!!!

BUTCH WALKER LYRICS

Mixtape

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know

But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you

You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know

Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I only wish there was more than that
About me and you

(Bridge)
Oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me
Your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
that you thought was gay
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
The minute they fell out of my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
And just let me kiss 'em
and let's get messed up and listen to possibly...

The best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was more than that
About me and you

Ten years from now he'll have to answer to her!

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-30T07:06:28-05:00

EDITED: no i was wrong i do hate all men right now

I'm totally annoyed with most men right now not all of them just most one that i'm just plotting to kill though is my daughters father!!! I haven't talk to him since i called him on fathers day to see if he wanted to see my daughter he answered told me he couldn't talk to me then hung up on me before that i hadn't talked to him in about ummm 2 weeks! Then he calls today i answered the phone by saying "what?" he could tell i was pissed of course he tried to lie about why he hung up on me! and actually told me he wanted to see my daughter this week he hasn't seen her in what almost 2 months! i told him he could but not alone he wasn't allowed to be alone with her after what happen last time,she came back with a diaper rash so bad it hurt her to walk!!!! He tried to blame that on ME too!! like i don't change my daughter!!!! the conversation ended by him te;;ing me "this isn't worth it" and hung up on me yeah his daughter isn't worth it, he expect to be able to be a "father" when ever he wants to be and i just suppose to be okay with it he never calls never wants to see her and spends all his time stepping and fitching for his new girlfriend thats about to have a baby yeah since he has basically told me that now he has a nother baby on the way my daughter isn't important! something else he tried to deny but i'm suppose to let him come and go in her life as he pleases NO FUCK HIM needless to say i called him back cussed him out and hung up on him i'm over his part time only a daddy when i wanna be bullshit i'll raise my baby on my own i have been anyways 80 dollars a month in child support doesn't help that much god i hate men right now

howmany times have i notice that our eyes hardly ever met from ur judgement seat

brokensoul918 — 2005-06-30T11:06:28-05:00

well i think i'm off to bed this has been a very strange day after what happen with Trae then all the fucking planning i'm having to do !,i don't know how i'm going to handle work,school,my daughter and help my mom plan her wedding on Aug.13th!!!!!! ugh!!!! oh well i'll survive i'm sure goodnight everybody

<3 Am

Lol this is VERY TRUE

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-01T03:07:13-05:00

You're Almost Ready to Get Married, But Not Quite

No doubt that you've warmed up to the idea of marriage and life long love
You just aren't quite ready to follow up with your desires, yet.
You may be a bit young, or a bit commitment phobic? give it time.
Concentrate on guys who you can imagine being with next year. Forever can wait.

Are You Ready for Marriage? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Where is your boy tonight? i hope he is a gentleman

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-03T03:07:50-05:00

Blognapped from bazzylemon

Tell her you think shes A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Tell her why you think shes so amazing. Play with her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres. Snuggle, Hold her hand, and lightly KISS her. Hold her hand and walk. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples yards and give them to her. Tell her she looks BEAUTIFUL. Introduce her to your friends as "The most amazing girl I know''. Sit in the park and talk to her. Take her to the library, ice skating, playgrounds, and coffee shops. Tell her stupid jokes... Whatever it takes to make her laugh. Write poems about her. Walk with her, even if its just around the block. Throw pebbles at her window at night. SURPRISE HER. Do things that make her SMILE, make her LAUGH, and make her want to KISS you right on the face. BE SPONTANEOUS.. When she starts yelling at you, tell her you love her. Give her back rubs. Play football with her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her even if its just to say hi. Call her back if she calls you. Jump on the bed with her. Whisper in her ear. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree. Get her mad, then KISS her. Push her on swings. Stay up with her all night. Leave her little unexpected notes.. on the car, or on her door, saying how much she means to you. Take her to romantic places and lay out blankets to look at the stars. Make up nicknames for each other. Show up at her work or apartment unexpectedly. Send flowers and dorky notes that only you two understand. Teach her guitar. Lend her your cds. Make her cds of songs that remind you of her. Write her letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour car trip. Go on a road trip even if theres no destination or you cant be gone long. Listen to her favorite songs!!!!!!!!!!!!. When shes sad or sick, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the pictures of you SHE WANTS. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Make her a romantic dinner for special days. Remember dates.. even ones like your first kiss or date and surprise her on the anniversary. Kiss her in the rain. Kiss her when she least expects it. When you fall in love with her, TELL HER!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-04T02:07:15-05:00

You are sexy, powerful, and bold. You're full of passion and energy... Sometimes this passion has a dark side. You feel most alive when you're seducing someone. You never fail to get someone's attention. Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

:(

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-04T07:07:37-05:00

Always weigh what I've lost against what I left
Progress report: I am missing you to death :(

you don't want none of this RONAL!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-05T04:07:31-05:00

Gotta love a class that gives you smoke breaks!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-06T02:07:32-05:00

I love my new class!!! It a music class and he gives a 10 minute break in the of class,he does it because it's only a 4 week summer course that crams in a semister worth of material in a month so he thinks we need a break!! which is awesome John's class goes on break at about the time so i get to talk to him and Bailey then me and bailey go back to class !!! John is giving me rides to and from school since i have NO fucking car now!!! and John taking me is a hell of a lot better than my parents! I saw Shai again today! i called out of work cause i haven't been feeling good the last few days and this morning i got kinda dizzy when i woke up which i really weird i dunno maybe it'll pass in a few days if not i'm going to be forced to go the doctor *damn people around me* but on the plus side i'm in a fan-fucking-tasic mood today :) i'm going shopping and going to get something to eat with lisa ! i got the rest of my finical aid money today! 320 dollars!!!! of course i'm going shopping what else would i do with it!!!!!

ttyl <3 Am ♥

More Fall out boy anyone surprised??

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-06T11:07:13-05:00

"It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love"

why can you read me like no one else?
I hide behind these words
but I'm coming out
I wish I kept them behind my tongue
I hide behind these words
but I'm coming out

put your hand between
an aching head and an aching world
we'll make them so jealous
we'll make them hate us
an aching head and an aching world
we'll make them so jealous
we'll make them so jealous

all the ways you make my stomach turn
and all the long drives
with my friends blur
and I wish I kept them inside my mind
I hide behind these words

and think of all the places
where you've been lost
and then found...out
in between my sheets
in between the rights and the wrongs

put your hand between
an aching head and an aching world
we'll make them so jealous
we'll make them hate us
aching head and an aching world
think of all the places
where you've been lost and found...out

blah blah blah

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-07T12:07:23-05:00

i really have nothing to say right now so if anyone wants to leave some random reply feel free!!! please :( !!!!

for the ladies

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-09T10:07:32-05:00

>SOMETHING TO CONSIDER...
>
>
> > >If a Man Wants You... This REALLY makes you think.
> > >
> > >If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
> > >If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
> > >Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
> > >Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from
> > heartache. Stop trying
> > >to change yourselves for a relationship that's not
> > meant to be. Slower is better.
> > > Never live your life for a man before
> > you find what makes you
> > >truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man
> > was not treating you
> > >as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be
> > friends." A friend wouldn't
> > >mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like
> > he is stringing you
> > >along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you
> > think "it will get
> > >better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for
> > staying when things
> > >are not better. The only person you can control in
> > a relationship is
> > >you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a
> > bunch of different
> > >women. He didn't marry them when he got them
> > pregnant, Why would he
> > >treat you any differently? Always have your own set
> > of friends separate
> > >from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats
> > you. If something
> > >bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know
> > everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's
> > behavior. Change comes from
> > >within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more
> > important than you are...
> > >even if he has more education or in a better job.
> > Do not make him into a
> > >quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
> > Never let a man
> > >define who you are. Never borrow someone else's
> > man. If he cheated with
> > >you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you
> > the way you ALLOW him
> > >to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not
> > be the one doing all
> > >the bending...compromise is two way street. You
> > need time to heal
> > >between relationships...there is nothing cute about
> > baggage... deal with
> > >your issues before pursuing a new relationship
> > > >You should never look for someone to COMPLETE
> > you...a relationship
> > >consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone
> > complimentary...not
> > >supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't
> > turn out to be Mr.
> > >Right.
> > >
> > >Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always
> > know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it
> > for granted. Never
> > >move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a
> > man.
> > > Don't fully commit to a man who
> > doesn't give you
> > >everything that you need. Keep him in your radar
> > but get to know others.
> > >Share this with other ladies..... You'll make
> > someone smile, another
> > >rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
> > They say it takes a
> > >minute to find a special person, an hour to
> > appreciate them, a day to
> > >love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

it's always raining in my head forget all the words i should have said

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-10T10:07:18-05:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

homegrown

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-10T01:07:54-05:00

You kissed me, then dissed me, but now you say you miss me. You used me, confuse me but you don't want to lose me. Don't talk to me. Don't acknowledge me anymore. I'm just another score. I used to be all nice and sweet. Giving everything you want and need. I can't believe I did it all for nothing. Now I'm bitter I can't take no more.

victory is mine!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-10T05:07:33-05:00

Which Family Guy character are you?

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-10T11:07:17-05:00

♥♥♥♥ goodnite everyone :) ♥♥♥♥

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-12T09:07:40-05:00

i have nothing to say tonight,things are um...... okay i guess so everybody leave random replies!!!! i could use a laugh right now *kisses*

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-12T11:07:51-05:00

blognapped from fyreph You scored as independant goth. Your independant !! this is a great kind of person to be. You often find ur self living ur life n nobodies elses..u like to do wat u want,how u want ,and when ever you want... Alot of people wish they could speak their mind like you speak yours.

independant goth

100%

angel/dreamer goth

100%

Cutter goth

50%

shy goth

50%

trifty goth

42%

sexxi goth

33%

punk goth

33%

Wat kind of gothic girl r u ?
created with QuizFarm.com

i love rocknroll,put another dime in the jukebox baby,take some time&dance w/me!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-13T11:07:05-05:00

today was fairly uneventful i got my hair cut:D i'm happy about that! It was my goodfriend Lisa's B-day! so we went got our hair cut met her family at "outback" and cruised around and watched t.v. the rest of the night!!! we danced around my house to "hey Mickey" and "i love rock n roll" we were just being goofy cause we had,had a drama free day which was great!!!!! Happy birthday Bee!!!!! but thats about it!!!! Sam i promise i'll break out the digital cam. and send you a pix of my new haircut i promise it's not short at all only in front:D but i guess thats it for now leave some replies *kisses* :P

a quote before bed

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-14T12:07:26-05:00

a little quote before i'm off to bed

"a friend will bail you out of jail,but a GOOD friend would be sitting in the cell beside you talking about"damn that was fun"!!!!

that just reminds me of a couple of my friends !!!!! hugs and kisses goodnight peoples!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-14T10:07:47-05:00

I never thought I'd die alone I laughed the loudest who'd have known? I trace the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all I took my time, I hurried up The choice was mine I didn't think enough I'm too depressed to go on You'll be sorry when I'm gone [Chorus] I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when I still felt alive We couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over we'd survived I couldn't wait till I got home To pass the time in my room alone I never thought I'd die alone Another six months I'll be unknown Give all my things to all my friends You'll never step foot in my room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that I spilled the cup Of apple juice in the hall Please tell mom this is not her fault [Chorus] I never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when I can still feel alive When I can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, I've survived I can't wait till I get home To pass the time in my room alone

Shimmy shimmy quarter turn i feel like i will never learn:: ::EDITED:: ::EDITED

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-15T09:07:50-05:00

::EDITED::

i feel alot better now! just disregard the earlier entry i guess i just got my feelings hurt!!!! but it's okay :D today was a good day thus far ,i got a NAP which is awesome!!!

messages!!!!!!!:

Sam --i sooo wanna make-out with you!!!!

Sheena --will you marry me???

Ronal-- *hugs*!!!

sorry i'm in a very goofy mood!!!!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-15T10:07:52-05:00

"How Does It Feel"

Well I'm back in the class
Falling out of your past
All the letters that I wrote
And you thought as a joke
And the phone never rings
When you're cold and it stings
All the holidays suck
By myself 'cause I am fucked
And I'm dying, dying, dying

[Chorus]
So how does it feel?
How does it feel?
'Cause it's tearing me apart
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
'Cause it's tearing me apart

Well I'm back for some more
Round two was a bore
And you're driftin' away
'Cause you want it that way
And I'm picking up pieces
Of hearts that completely
Are broken in two
So it must have been you
While you're lying in bed
With somebody new

[Chorus]

You cannot convince me anymore
You cannot control me like before
You cannot convince me anymore
You cannot control me like before
How does it feel?

And it's 1:45
And I'm feeling alive
I've got it all
And it's your last call
There's somebody new
And she's better than you
You've been replaced
By a prettier face
So look who's crying now

We don't wanna be the enemies of what we used to be
we don't wanna be the enemy of what we used to be

[Chorus x2]

You cannot

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-16T12:07:46-05:00

She sits alone by a lamppost Trying to find a thought that's escaped her mind. She says dad's the one I love the most But Stipe's not far behind. She never lets me in Only tells me where she's been When she's had too much to drink I say that I don't care I just run my hands through her dark hair Then I pray to God you gotta Help me fly away And just let her cry If the tears fall down like rain Let her sing If it eases all her pain Let her go Let her walk right out on me And if the sun comes up tomorrow Let her be Let her be This morning I woke up alone Found a note standing by the phone Saying baby, maybe I'll be back someday I wanted to look for you You walked in I didn't know just what I should do So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for myself Saying let her cry If the tears fall down like rain Let her sing If it eases all her pain Let her go Let her walk right out on me And if the sun comes up tomorrow Let her be Let her be Let her cry If the tears fall down like rain Let her sing If it eases all her pain Let her go Let her walk right out on me And if the sun comes up tomorrow Let her be Oh... Last night I tried to leave Cried so much I could not believe She was the same girl I fell in love with long ago She went in the back to get high I sat down on my couch and cried yellin' Oh momma, please help me Won't you hold my hand and... Let her cry If the tears fall down like rain Let her sing If it eases all her pain Let her go Let her walk right out on me And if the sun comes up tomorrow Let her be Let her cry If the tears fall down like rain Let her sing If it eases all her pain Let her go Let her walk right out on me And if the sun comes up tomorrow Let her be Oh, let her be.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-17T01:07:05-05:00

"Me Against The World"

We’re not gonna be just a part of their game
We’re not gonna be just the victims
They’re taking our dreams and they tear them apart
‘Til everyone’s the same

I’ve got no place to go
I’ve got nowhere to run
They’d love to watch me fall
They think they know it all

I’m a nightmare, a disaster
That’s what they always said
I’m a lost cause, not a hero
But I’ll make it on my own
I’ve gotta prove them wrong
Me against the world

It’s me against the world

We won’t let them change how we feel in our hearts
We’re not gonna let them control us
We won’t let them shove all their thoughts in our heads
And we’ll never be like them

I’ve got no place to go
I’ve got nowhere to run
They’d love to watch me fall
They think they know it all

I’m a nightmare, a disaster
That’s what they always said
I’m a lost cause, not a hero
But I’ll make it on my own
I’ve gotta prove them wrong
It's me against the world

Me against the world

Now I’m sick of this waiting
So come on and take your shot
You can spit all your insults
But nothing you say’s gonna change us
You can sit there and judge me
Say what you want to
We’ll never let you win

I’m a nightmare, a disaster
That’s what they always said
I’m a lost cause, not a hero
But I’ll make it on my own
Me against the world

I’m a nightmare, a disaster
That’s what they always said
I’m a lost cause, not a hero
But I’ll make it on my own
I’ve gotta prove them wrong
They’ll never bring us down
We’ll never fall in line
I’ll make it on my own
Me against the world
---Simple Plan------

The Booty Call Form :) i just thought this was cute!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-17T03:07:52-05:00

STOLEN FROM Arnel

Status:

Age:

City:

State:

Country:

Signup Date:

BOOTY CALL FORM.

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement" is entered into on the _______(DD/MM/YY) by ___________ (fill in name) and _____________ (fill in name (if known)).

This agreement shall cover the following rules and principles:

1. No sleeping over -- unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9pm -- we don't have anything to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" crap -- only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup," unless you're from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted -- including money.

8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges," we are not friends, just bed buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is okay -- don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing -- I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get up, get dressed and go home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position -- the less eye contact, the better.

18. NO call= NO sex.

19. Bring your own drink -- I am not a liquor store.

20. No phone use, please -- I don't want anyone calling back looking for you.

21. No soft music while we have sex. Only raunchy rap, metal, or punk is acceptable.

22. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying... you pay this time, I pay next.

23. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.

* Extra tip for successful booty calls: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void, and you will then be removed from the Booty Call List and deleted from phone memory and e-mail list. In other words, you will be blocked from all communications until you understand the rules. If the other party goes psycho, contract will also be null and void. Returning to Booty call listing will be dependent on a doctor note expressing a 100% recovery from the psychosis.

Participating BOOTY CALLED Party:
Signature:_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating BOOETY CALLER Party:
Signature:_______________________________________
Date: ________________

anyone interested in applying. drop resumes in the in box....
There will be a $25 fee for background checks. All first timer's interview in back room.

In my past life, i could see how this could be true

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-18T10:07:22-05:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Gorgeous Despot. Where You Lived: Israel. How You Died: Decapitation.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

lol i still am a control freak so i see where there could be some truth in this one lol <3

Great night alright day!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-19T09:07:51-05:00

I had the best night lasy night my baby spent the night a week is way to long for us not to fall asleep together! and he was still waiting on me when i got home from work i love my baby. I hope you have fun to night aT George's !! I was really tired to day i got hardly any sleep last night ;) but i'll survive it was worth it! ::TO Sam:: ~since you've been gone i've been lonely longing to be with you always!~:) haha hope it makes you feel guilty!! it's a boys II men song! it was a boring typical day nothing exciting happened!:( but it's ok cause boring means no drama!! :::OH WELL::: Since you've been gone I've been lonely Longing to be with you only Maybe there's still is a way I can find you and say Just how I feel. I can't believe that's it's over Wish somehow I could have showed her All that was inside of my heart 'stead of playing the games You might have stayed Funny just the other night I was thinking I wonder if you ever think about me I call you on the phone, there's no answer Oh Well, there's still tomorrow Oh Well, I'll try again Oh Well, maybe just maybe… Since you've been gone I've been lonely Longing to be with you only If there's a way I could beg you to stay would you please Stay with me. I was thinking maybe I could come over Hoping we could finally work this out Even if tonight we don't find an answer Oh Well, there's still tomorrow Oh Well, I'll try again Oh Well, maybe just maybe If I had another chance We would stand hand in hand You'll be my girl and I'll be your man Oh Well, maybe just maybe we can. I still call you on the phone still no answer Maybe later on I'll try one more time Or am I just a fool to keep trying Oh Well, there's still tomorrow Oh Well, a fool's what I am Oh Well, maybe just maybe Oh Well, there's still tomorrow Oh Well, I'll try again Oh Well, maybe just maybe See if I got down on my knees and gave you every little part of me. Oh Well, there's still tomorrow Oh Well, I'll try again Oh Well, maybe just maybe Since you've been gone I've been lonely ::::

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-20T12:07:05-05:00

school sucks!!and so does work

Well, you'

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-20T08:07:51-05:00

stolen from callie69

The Slut in Disguise
You scored 29 out 45 experience and 35 out of 45 adventurousness!

Well, you've started on your sexual journey but you're not quite there yet. There's so much more that you want to do but just can't seem to get around to it! Don't worry. Once you've found someone as adventurous as you, all those secret fantasies will come true.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 85% on experience
You scored higher than 86% on adventurousness

Link: The How Sexual Are You? Test written by Popcornisyum on Ok Cupid

somehow i'll show you that you are my night sky

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-23T09:07:14-05:00

ugh! tonight has not been a good day and i'm not sure why,i'm in the worse possible mood everyone in this house is annoying me and i'm snapping at everyone the air isn't working right and i'm fucking hot as hell,i hate being hot i like winter so much better!but living in tennessee your shit out of luck because it's mostly hot! i'm fucking bored i really wanted to go out tonight but everyones broke! i'm just not in a good mood right now and i'm not sure how to cheer myself up i think i'll go watch a movie and forget about everything!! ttyl guys <3 Am

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-24T07:07:04-05:00

i have a boyfriend and a girlfriend and still can't get any!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn you both!!!!!!!!

:(

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-24T09:07:43-05:00

"Feelings are everywhere--be gentle." - J. Masai

To my Luv,i love you more Sheena!! LOL

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-26T08:07:55-05:00

"Be The Girl"

You look at me
Curious what I'm made of
Sugar or steam
And what kind of man I love
What I believe
What I know and what I crave
All my pet peeves
Where I've shed and when I stain
Do you know

Cause I'm not here to be around
And be that girl that you forget about
Cause all I want is just to be a song
That you can feel longer than just right now
So come on baby let me be the girl
That you can count on to rock your world
And then you'll see there's so much than curves
And then you'll see that you and me belong

Do you know my vice
And how to get under my skin
Just what I like
And where I want you to begin
Do you know my middle name
And where I'm sensitive the most
That each night I pray
And do you think I fit that mold
Do you know

Cause I'm not here to be around
And be that girl that you forget about
Cause all I want is just to be a song
That you can feel longer than just right now
So come on baby let me be the girl
That you can count on to rock your world
And then you'll see there's so much than curves
And then you'll see that you and me belong

You and me belong
You and me belong

Cause I'm not here to be around
And be that girl that you forget about
Cause all I want is just to be a song
That you can feel longer than just right now
So come on baby, let me be the girl
That you can count on to rock your world
And then you'll see there's so much than curves
And then you'll see that you and me belong
You and me belong
You and me belong

Random love Quotes

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-27T01:07:42-05:00

****One day you'll come to me and ask me what's more important: You or my life. I'll say my life and you'll walk away never knowing that you're my life.

****

I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves washed it away. I wrote your name on my hand but I washed it the next day. I wrote your name on a piece of paper but I acciedenatally threw it away... I wrote your name in my heart and forever it will stay!

****Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop your crying is the one who made you cry?

****Give me a kiss, give me the world, give me your heart, I'll be your girl, give me your smile, give me your time, give me your love, I'll give you mine.

****Some days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain, Joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain, and love wouldn't be true if it weren't for you

****_-_Guys are like stars...there are a million out there but only one can make your wishes come true_-_

****

To the world you are one person. To one person, you are the world.

****Love is Like a four leaf clover: hard to find but lucky to have.

****Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

****If love is not a game,then why are there so many players?

****I'm not supposed to love you.
I'm not supposed to care.
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing u were there.
I'm not supposed to wonder where u r or what u do sorry i just couldn't help myself i fell in love with u.

****

i wish i would have saved
all the tears i've cried
over you so i could
fuking drown u in
them.

One of my favorite songs!! i'm bored so i'm posting lyrics!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-27T02:07:00-05:00

COLD

"Bleed"

I'm feeling crossed
I take it inside
Burn up the pain
My thoughts are strange
Just like the things
I used to love
Just like the tree that fell
I heard it
If art is still inside
I feel it

I wanna bleed
Show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream
Let the blood flow that keeps me alive

Take all these strings
They call my veins
Wrap them around
Every fucking thing

Presence of people
Not for me
Well I must remain in tune
Forever
My love is music
I will marry melody

I wanna bleed
Show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream
Let the blood flow that keeps me alive

Won't you let me take you
For a ride
You can stop the world
Try to change my mind
Won't you let me show you
How it feels
You can stop the world
But you won't change me

I need music
I need music
I need music to set me free
To let me bleed

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-27T03:07:23-05:00

<<<<<< my daughter !!! she loves wearing mommy's glasses!!! isn't she cute!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-28T11:07:22-05:00

i didn't go to work or school today i felt like shit this morning and still do,but still hopeful that today will be a good day :D

sometimes we wish we could take our foot out of our mouth

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-28T11:07:51-05:00

Today actually wasn't that bad of a day :D i still feel like shit i've just been really tired lately and i'm not sure why?

It was actually just a weird sorta day i recieved a text message from someone whom i don't want to talk to,just because he has another kid now doesn't mean i'm going to let him contiue to fuck -up mine!

Then i found out something that was just kinda a mind-fuck i'm still trying to wrap my head around i'm just kinda in shock about,i dunno it's just so weird and a little sad....

I talked to my cousin today that was pointless!! i really have nothing to say to her and i'm still alittle pissed about her childish behavior a few months ago i don't really enjoy be blamed for things i didn't do and would never do, i would never flirt with her boyfriend and i didn't steal her best friend so ... yeah whatever!

well thats about it i'll write more later

Your Kissing Purity Score: 17% Pure For you, it's all kiss an

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-29T06:07:27-05:00

stolen from fyreph

Your Kissing Purity Score: 17% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk. You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

i really like this song

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-29T08:07:54-05:00

"Beautiful Disaster "

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight
Hold me tight

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful
Lord he's beautiful
He's beautiful

it's been a while since i could hold my head up high

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-31T01:07:30-05:00

I realize i haven't really bloogged in a while i mean really wriiten anything meaningful,i guess at this point with everything going on,i'm really unsure of the current emotions i've been feeling and another reason is fear of who will read it and be offended or upset about it (one certain person that is) so i guess for the time being you probably won't be seeing a meaningful post from me maybe a rant everynow and then that would soon be deleted but for the time being i'll be keeping my feelings and thoughts to my self so not cause arguements or any dramatic reactions to current frame of mind and emotions. but i guess i better sort through them myself before i even begin to post them here huh?

you can of course expect song lyrics,if you read them carefully so can usually tell what i'm feeling though:P

Later<3

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-07-31T05:07:10-05:00

i just want this day to be over

i'm doing it again:)

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-01T02:08:00-05:00

1. Pick a band and answer the follow questions only using the band's song titles:

A Perfect Circle

2. How's your life?:

Yesterday's today

3. Describe how you feel about yourself:

The Outsider

4. Your best piece of advice:

People are people

5. Describe your last relationship:

The hollow

6. Describe your current crush:

Thinking of you

7. Say something to someone you have a crush on:

Freedom of choice

8. Say something to an ex:

over

9. Say something to someone you hurt severely:

ashes to ashes

10. Say something to someone who has helped you:

believe

i Just wanted to say thank you

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-01T07:08:34-05:00

this is increadible sweet!!!! and it's not the first one like it :) fromArnel

Hi Amber,

Not smiling I see...

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.?´¸.?*¨) ¸.?*¨)
(¸.?´ (¸.?´ .?´ ¸¸.?¨¯`?
_____****__________**** ______
___***____***____***__ *** ____
__***________****_______***____
_***__________**_________***__
_***_____________________***_
_***________JUST_________***_
__***______SMILE________***__
___***_____AMBER______***___
____***_______________***_____
______***___________***_______
________***_______***_________
__________***___***___________
____________*****_____________
_____________***_____________
______________*___________

(¨`•.•´¨) Always
`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) Keep
(¨`•.•´¨)¸.•´ Smiling!
`•.¸.•´ Amber

Smile it makes my day Arnel

you know who you R

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-01T11:08:09-05:00

Video code provided by Music Video Codes

you have to click reply to see it all

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-03T04:08:44-05:00

create your own visited states map or check out these Google Hacks.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-04T10:08:36-05:00

Maybe I act on confused behavior
Maybe waves crash like semi trailer
Maybe I'll spend my off time without you
It seems like we need our own space

And all the time I wasted away
I don't feel good unless you stay
And all the times I chased you away
Simply to catch back up with

Your solitude is welcome welcome
Your attitude is welcome welcome
Your solitude is welcome welcome
Your attitude is welcome

All you see is red lights behind me
Maybe this isn'twhat you wanted baby
I don't blame you falling backwards
No one's ever quite confused you this way

And all this time we wasted away
We don't feel good unless we're gray
And all the times I chased you away
I simply don't feel good

Your solitude is welcome welcome
Your attitude is welcome welcome
Your solitude is welcome welcome
Your attitude is welcome

You are welcome You are welcome
You are welcome You are welcome You are welcome

All this time, we heard alarms
Come to find, we fell apart
This whole thing has crashed down, crashed down
All this time, we heard alarms

Your solitude is welcome welcome
Your attitude is welcome welcome
Your solitude is welcome welcome
Your attitude is welcome

You are welcome You are welcome
You are welcome You are welcome welcome welcome
welcome welcome welcome welcome

one of my favorite bands!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-04T01:08:39-05:00

Video code provided by Music Video Codes

a new level of pissed off!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-04T08:08:41-05:00

I fucking hate stupid ass little bitches that fucking lie and turn things around if your going to say shit about people atleast tell it all instead of only telling half of fucking something,but it's okay whatever makes your pathetic sad ass feel better now! because when i fucking cave your face in thats all your going to have to give you comfort! uuhhhhh i can't wait until i catch your fucking ass out in public you fucking wanna call me a bad mother and imply i'm a fucking whore thats fine because i'll be the one laughing when your eating out of a fucking straw for all the shit you caused you stupid cunt keep running your fucking mouth about me cause soon your not going to be able to move your jaw after i curb your ass i'm not one of these little bitches that just going to run there mouth back! if i had your fucking number or knew where you fucking lived you better fucking believe i'd been there you disrespected me to many times and i will fucking find your fucking punk ass

keep fucking running your mouth and see what happens cunt!!!!!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-05T09:08:01-05:00

The Goddess of Fire and Happiness. You are a ball
of energy. Always compassionate and full of
life, you can make anyone feel happy and you
are exceptionally uplifting. You are an
individual beauty.

Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-05T09:08:17-05:00

Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding

This is my last resort
Cut my life into pieces, I've reached my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong? Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight? Chances are that I might
Mudilation out of sight, and I'm contimplating suicide

Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on my chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin?
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself and no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying

I ... can't ... go ... on ... living ... this ... way

Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding

Would it be wrong? Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight? Chances are that I might
Mudilation out of sight, and I'm contimplating suicide

Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying

I ... CAN'T ... GO ... ON ... LIVING ... THIS ... WAY

Can't go on ... living this way
Nothing's alright!

oh my

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-06T11:08:09-05:00

one of my quizzes got 5th top blog thats really weird why would people vote on a quiz? huh? oh well.

oh fucking well

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-06T11:08:16-05:00

why do i come off as the least understanding and insensitive when really i'm just being honest and realistic,everyone has always said honesty has been my down fall

i'm insensitive,but i'm "overly emotion" so what i have to many of the wrong emotions??? yeah fuck that

"Amber ohio is for haters not lovers".."shut up Shai"

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-07T12:08:00-05:00

I FINALLY got to go out last !!!!!! i was around people my own age it was awesome!!! Alyx(Norm you should remember her from high school) came and got me then we went to pick up William we had to clue what to do so when we we're sitting in Mcdonalds parking lot because Alyx wanted chicken nuggets i called my friend Shai to see what he was up to he said he was headed to Adam's but that we could meet him there if we wanted so.......... we did! Yeah i didn't know any of the guys there except Shai and William but then Dan showed up to another guy from high school the whole night there was 8 guys there and me and Alyx was the only girls with was kinda strange but i talked to william for like 20minutes straight and all we talk about was........NORMAN!!!!! Oh yeah Norm when you get to Texas and if you need a ride i had Alyx,William,and Shai ask me if i wanted to take a trip down there they all offered to go!!! anyways i spent like 2 hrs. sitting out side on the balcony talking to Shai! he's changed alot since high school you can actually have a conversation with him now !!! but we left around two i think William may have had alittle to much i'm not sure i know he was diffently buzzed but so was Alyx she had to start drinking water half way into being there because she had to drive!! I wasn't worried about anything when i got home i went straight to bed,but i got the worse fucking bed spins last night it sucked!!!

Ani Difranco

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-08T07:08:25-05:00

when you look at me
you see my purpose,
see my pride
you think I just saddle up my anger
and ride and ride and ride
you think I stand so firm
you think I sit so high on my trusty steed
let me tell you
I'm usually face down on the ground
when there's a stampede

I'm no heroine
at least, not last time I checked
I'm too easy to roll over
I'm too easy to wreck
I just write about
what I should have done
I just sing
what I wish I could say
and hope somewhere
some woman hears my music
and it helps her through her day

a cookie and a hug

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-11T06:08:15-05:00

the only good part of my day has been when i went to see Shai at work and told him about my horrible week and he gave me a cookie and a hug:)

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-12T11:08:08-05:00

i'm stuck in wedding hell!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait until this shit is over,atleast it's not like Sam's (dixieprincess) that one was stressful damn people couldn't find a dress and was being all jealous and shit! but hey Sammy we have three versions of the wedding march to choose from lol i'm never going to get married so i don't have to worry about this again until Lilli is older and thats years away so HA

one more reason i love Norm

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-12T04:08:16-05:00

normtn427: so i got a shopping list i need you to pick me up these things at walmart. a plunger, a 36pack of condoms, a tube of ky and "better homes and living"

[13:09] normtn427: then video tape the cashiers expression and send it to me

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-12T10:08:52-05:00

Video code provided by Music Video Codes

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-13T11:08:19-05:00

Everytime you come around
There's a bouquet for me
A corsage of promises
And I am pinned
Like a butterfly on a card
I'm naked and I'm scarred
And you're so perfect to me

Violent ties with hands like a steeple
Tell me lies with a tongue like a needle
I let the words shot down my throat
A face like an iron fist
That I can never resist
I learn the ...

Words of wisdom from your tyrant mouth
Words of wisdom from your tyrant mouth

I'm stuck just like a pig
Roasting in your eyes
I'll believe anything that you want
You gotta teach me how to live
Cause you make me wanna die
You took it all, now you're all I've got

Words of wisdom from your tyrant mouth
Words of wisdom from your tyrant mouth

There's noises in my head
Just noises in my head
If I could I'd drown them all out
I'd bury all of these noises
From your tyrant mouth

You're just a noise in my head
You're just a noise in my head
I'll drown you out
And I'll bury all the noises
From your hateful little mouth

Words of wisdom from your tyrant mouth
Words of wisdom
Words of wisdom
Words of wisdom from your tyrant mouth
Yeah...

The wedding is finally over !!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-13T11:08:49-05:00

it's over and done with my mom is finally married and i don't have to stress about it anymore !!!!! I had a bit of drama today but what else is new and some very good news that i can't tell anyone and it's KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!! i hate you ,you know who you are,making me keep this big secret damn you !!! but i don't think i'll have to leave Tennessee because of it which is good i can't stand that plane ride again :P my feet hurt i have blister on my poor toes and i'm really tired but my mom got married, i got to see my big brother, me and my friend Mikey caught what the Groom and Bride throws which is pretty funny cause we're each others back,and if we're not married by like 35 we're going to marry each other :P so we don't have to die alone ,god i hope he doesn't get married in the next few years or i'm pretty much fucked!!lol j/k but yeah i'm tired so i'm off to bed goodnight everyone

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-14T11:08:33-05:00

Video code provided by Music Video Codes

if you don't know me personally this won't be intresting to u

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-17T10:08:35-05:00

I'm home finally

I just got home a little while ago :D i'm so damn tired i feel like all we did was walk! the past few days but it's alright! i feel really bad because my phone didn't have a signal half the time i was there and the other half it was dead,i also went to bed earlier then i usually do so basically i feel bad cause the people that needed me couldn't get a hold of me well i mean Sam ,Sorry Sammy i don't know if the phone calls i missed were important or not but i promise it won't happen again despite the 5,000 miles between us you know i going to be there for you through this even though i can't run out and get you ice cream :P but i can be there for every phone call when you call me because ricky asked you to turn the channel and you'll swear he was calling you fat!! lol :P and i hope you do stay when ya'll come in for christmas!!!!! and i can't wait to find out what it is and when it's due cause you haven't told me yet so i don't know if you know or not and and .......i'm rambling but hey i'm excited my best friend is having a baby and she wouldn't let me tell anybody and now i can talk about it :D that right i was the first to know !!!! cause i'm special (no i'm not) anyways Lilli had a great time at Splash country! it was so cute watching here walk around in her little life jacket and sunglasses! and her on the rides at dollywood she didn't like the games she just wanted to ride the rides! and of course she had a fit because she wanted to go down one of the biggest water slides with me but she was to little ... oh but she love the Hard Rock Cafe! ecspecially when some of the serves started dancing to Madonna-Vougue lol she was dancing too!:) but yeah thats it i'm tired i'll write more later

MY SAM IS HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seek your revenge theres more where this came from! muhhahahah

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-17T01:08:41-05:00

look at that bald head!!!!!!! and Norman i made your name pink cause i know it's your favorite color and i hope your happy when you move to Virgina :P oh yeah this is your punishment for adding Shai to myspace before me *sniff sniff* that still hurts :(

Inked

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-18T01:08:15-05:00

you look at my skin outside not whats inside ,you will see that i will never change for authorty, cause my inks my mark on society ,read between these lines and you'll understand that my ink is with me until the end ,i'm inked til the end.

yeah so i want new tattoos but apparently i'm told i'm not allowed to until Norm gets home,well damn it! okay so i have time to sit and whine about the ones i want because i already know what they are and hey Norm your still behind i'm winning with 3 to your sad little 2 LOL ,okay so maybe i'll get one more before you get home then we'll go get more :D sound good it does to me :D okay i think i'm winning with piercings too. do you still have your nipple rings in ??? okay so this is what i want

yeah so thats just a few i have pictures of theres other i still have to draw out or have Anna (the tattoo artist at saint's ) draw out

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-24T09:08:49-05:00

MY internet is back and i couldn't be happier :D i have so much to write about just not write now

yeah well ...you know who u are

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-24T01:08:00-05:00

music video code by urbnmix.net
blink 182 - always

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-26T05:08:18-05:00

not much to say just doing alot of um.................thinking

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-27T07:08:20-05:00

could more stress be added please,i waiting on someone close to me to die or something bad like that to happen why because thats just how fucked up my luck is right now

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-28T09:08:17-05:00

look at you - you're such a sight to see
do you know what you think or who you want to be?
you bring me down with negativity
you've got a lot to say, but no credibility

[Chorus]
do you think you left me broken hearted?
you should know that it's not so easy to do
i always try to finish what i've started
all i know is that i'm finished with you

i bet you'll tell me what you're thinking of me
but i don't care, i know who i want to be
your opinions lack sincerity
as you try to stay true to your stupid philosophy

[Chorus]

i think i finally figured it out
and now i know what you're all about
you've opened my eyes and now i can see
with friends like you, who needs enemies?

this song just makes me happy :)

brokensoul918 — 2005-08-30T06:08:56-05:00

Blind Melon -No Rain

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but itts not sane, its not sane

I just want someone to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that theres no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
It rips my life away but its a great escape...escape...escape
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
You don't like my point of view
Ya think that I'm insane
Its not sane... its not sane
I just want someone to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made

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brokensoul918 — 2005-08-31T08:08:17-05:00

being sick sucks :(

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brokensoul918 — 2005-09-01T09:09:49-05:00

but on the plus side i got me some Chick-fil-a today and it made me happy:D *doing alittle dance*

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brokensoul918 — 2005-09-01T09:09:03-05:00

"Collide"

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

I'm in good mood for once

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-02T08:09:29-05:00

today was actually a pretty good day not much going on i'm thankful i'm off tomorrow and Sunday i'll write about last night later,not really sure what to make of it but ....*shurg* anyways thats it for now

this is how bored i am :(

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-02T10:09:24-05:00

Some must feel they should not be subjected to all my ranting lol they have removed one of my journals from their friends list :( LOL(i really don't care, just thought it was kinda funny, he did, he must of been mad when he did it, huh chris?)

Hurricane survivers

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-03T07:09:07-05:00

Right now i'm on "stand by" according to my Aunt who works for children services here in Knoxville, Tennessee. We were suppose to recieve a plane with 200 displaced Children but they had to make an emergancey landing in Chatanoga a city about 150-200 miles from us the children had to be taken to a mental hospital due to severe post tramatic stress. all of these children have either been seperated from or have lost there parents,so i'll sit here and wait for her to call because we're suppose to get another plane in we're suppose to have recieved 1,200 children in all,so i'm just waiting for when she calls to go down and help in anyway i'm needed.

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brokensoul918 — 2005-09-04T06:09:15-05:00

stolen from hott06stuff lol yeah thats all i got :D i just thought it was cute :)

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brokensoul918 — 2005-09-04T09:09:09-05:00

i'm so happy i'm off tomorrow :D i dunno what i'm going to do though? but what suck is wed.i have to work til 2p.m. and i'm gonna be all bored,and shit the only bad thing about this job is people can't/don't come and visit me like they did at Waffle House but it's okay awwww i'm so bored right now :(

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-05T02:09:03-05:00

i wasn't off today after all i got fucking called in apparently so the manager could sit on her ass the whole time yeah i'm alittle pissed right now but i'll get over it,when Lisa brings me food later from her aunt's bar-b-que :D

this is for u (Sam)

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-05T07:09:46-05:00

"My Best Friend"

When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue

You are such a blessing and I wont be messing
with the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

There is no other one that can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Because I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you I need you

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

I'm here right beside you
I will never leave you
and I feel the pain you feel when you start crying

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
Yes I do...
Yes I do

haha i won

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-06T12:09:00-05:00

yep!! i didn't go to work today:) i won,yeah only Sam and Lisa know what i'm talking about but thats okay i still won :)

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-07T06:09:24-05:00

Where is my Norman ?!?

Go here

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-08T09:09:36-05:00

http://www.musicvideocodes.com/?song=2229

If it stayed i'd never leave it
If that turned around
I'd grieve the special dirty things that we used to talk about
I mean that loving you is strange
And adored by me throughout oh no it's you again
Someday soon you'll find that someone
Waiting for the chance to beat you
Drooling on the set to feel you
Blessing you with every kiss

Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill
Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill

Such the patient one who needs me
The spoiled one who wins
So shocking where's your sense
Don't you know i hate you, ohoh
Unsatisfied,you little girl.

Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill
Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill

Rolling dice and seeming queer
Bastard love,a sick affair
Let's see what new disease you'll fetch
I mean that fucking you is strange
And adored by me throughout
Oh no it's you again
Blessing you with every kiss

So precious you know this hate of mine exploded
I'm so deranged you know
I will never be the same

Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill
Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill

i miss you ...alot! :(

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-09T11:09:52-05:00

i love you, i haven't gotten to talk to you in a few days,i miss you and can't wait until u come home for x-mas and i know your going to be all pregnant and i can't wait to feel my niece or nephew kick!! :D hopefully i'll talk to you soon babydoll

*kisses and hugs*

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-18T10:09:50-05:00

TODAY IS MY 20TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-19T09:09:57-05:00

"When Flying Feels Like Falling"

It's days like these, that make me feel
like I want to bleed through my heart again
It's days like these, that make me feel
like I might as well be on my own again

I take back everything I said about loving you
Now that you've left me on the ground
I can fly away to someone new
Don't pretend like I don't know you're untrue

I never meant to bring you down
nothing but good intentions
I never meant to bring you down

Take it back this time
i'll just move on
Take my heart, make it grey
I'll never forget

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-21T11:09:02-05:00

ever had some one just utterly and totally disappoint u to the point were you just really don't want to have anything to do with them and you've lost total and complete faith in them??? i have, today actually

Bif Naked-

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-22T11:09:45-05:00

"Moment Of Weakness"

i stand in the pouring rain
you couldn't even be there to pick me up
yer taking me for granted, again
yer running outa time, and yer outa luck!

just a moment of weakness
i should examine my head!
just a moment of weakness
i never meant a word i said

i'm sick with the beiijing flu
and you chose then not to come home.
a week later I caught you
kissing a girl who was my clone!

just a moment of weakness
i should examine my head!
just a moment of weakness
i never meant a word i said!

(oh, why should I stay and pretend?
you make me laugh again
my darling, truth is - we are not even friends!
oh, love comes and it goes.
where yer heart stops - no one knows...
how did i wind up in the is mess, here - with you! )

just a moment of weakness
i should examine my head!
just a moment of weakness
i never meant a word i said!

big number 3

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-25T11:09:15-05:00

today is my daughter's 3rd birthday:D!!!!!!!

Sam i'll probably email u picture tomorrow or the next day:)

gotta go lots of things to do :)

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-29T09:09:01-05:00

been using myspace more lately so if anyone has an account there let me know and i'll add u :)

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brokensoul918 — 2005-09-30T10:09:23-05:00

Finally I figured out
But it took a long, long time
But now there's a turnabout
Maybe 'cause I'm trying

There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads, They lead to you
I just can't turn and walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, And I can't do
Enough to prove,
It's all for you

I thought I'd seen it all
'Cause it's been a long, long time
But then we'll trip and fall
Wondering if I'm blind
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]

Rain comes pouring down
Falling from blue skies
Words without a sound
Coming from your eyes

Finally I figured out
But it took a long, long time
But now there's a turnabout
Maybe cause I'm trying
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus-Chorus]

It's hard to say
It's hard to say
It's all for you

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-30T10:09:21-05:00

The grey ceiling on the earth Well it's lasted for a while Take my thoughts for what they're worth I've been acting like a child In your opinion, and what is that? It's just a different point of view What else can I do? I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry ,but what for? If I hurt you then I hate myself Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you Why do you choose your pain? If you only know how much I love you, love you [Chorus] I won't be your winter I won't be anyone's excuse to cry We can be forgiven I will be here The old picture on the shelf Well it's been there for a while A frozen image of ourselves We are acting like a child Innocent and in a trance A dance that lasted for a while You read my eyes just like your diary, oh remember, please remember Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more If I hurt you, then I hate myself, And I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you Why do you choose your pain? If you only knew how much I love you I won't be your winter I won't be anyone's excuse to cry We can be forgiven I will be here

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-09-30T12:09:29-05:00

COPPER---TURN

You sold the soul that
cradled us from the world we were under
Waste machines and politics
buried the things that we need to discover

Say you will understand
these circumstances
Say you will hold my hand
and we'll take our chances

I can't say when its all gonna change yeah I can't say when its all gonna break yeah

Turn me over
Keep turning me around again
around again
My four leaf clover
has fallen on the ground again
the ground again

You paved the road that
traveled us from the roof we were under
Ashes had blown away
long before I could dream of another

Say you will understand
these circumstances
Say you will hold my hand
and we'll take our chances

I can't say when its all gonna change yeah I can't say when its all gonna break yeah

Turn me over
keep turning me around again
around again
My four leaf clover
has fallen on the ground again
the ground again

Will you be yourself
When you're not alone
Will you be yourself
And find your own way home

Turn me around
Turn me around
Has fallen to the ground
the ground
the ground again

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-10-30T09:10:32-05:00

i'm still alive :)

so um yeah hi guys

brokensoul918 — 2005-10-31T02:10:08-05:00

sorry guys i haven't been on here alot been mostly sticking to myspace well everyones kinda moved there so i'll try to update here as often as i can

can u tell i'm bored?

brokensoul918 — 2005-10-31T03:10:33-05:00

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-11-06T01:11:40-05:00

MY ass should of stayed in Hawaii *sigh*

who has the best big brother ever? I DO :)

brokensoul918 — 2005-11-06T01:11:59-05:00

this is what he got me 'cause i couldn't go to the show since i had just gotten out of the hospital :D i luv my brother

best song ever!

brokensoul918 — 2005-11-21T11:11:16-05:00

"Your Winter"

The grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view

What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry ,but what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you

[Chorus]
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here

The old picture on the shelf
Well it's been there for a while
A frozen image of ourselves
We are acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance
A dance that lasted for a while

You read my eyes just like your diary,
oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself,
And I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you

I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here

[Chorus]

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-11-22T01:11:49-05:00

"No One's Looking"

No sense trying to impress faces emotionless
Contact with others is unheard of
When you bump into me there's no apology
What is it that you're so afraid of?
You're staring straight through me

When will we gain back the trust we've been breaking
How can we stop all the clocks we've been racing
Thought that we had grown, now we're all alone
Seems that time isn't all that we're wasting

What are you gonna do if I try to talk to you
Walking away won't solve your problem
Can't you be a human being and show common courtesy
A cold shoulder isn't what I'm here for
Does anybody care?

i love nonpoint Sittin' on your ass all day thinkin' about your hangover and the party you

brokensoul918 — 2005-11-26T10:11:19-05:00

"What A Day" Sittin' on your ass all day thinkin' about your hangover and the party you left your fuckin' keys at and had to beg for a ride from a stranger that I never met before he acted so friendly that I had to take the ride but for some reason he resembled that guy wanted for a robbery and beatin' on his kid "you remind me of my stepson" he chuckles with a grin. What was that move that they taught in self-defense where you block the killer's knife move with some confidence the signal when you're trapped inside a moving car I wonder if he'll drive real far. What a day, you should've stayed home shootin' the breeze all day, you should think next time before you start to play, I wonder what will happen today. Rub your eyes from no sleep this week tap your heels home then fall asleep. Sittin' around looking for a fight kinda' pissed off how I'm turnin' My life up-side down from insecure insecurities makin' up My mind through old hypocrisy up and out of harms way down cause I want to be there here because you want Me not because you're caught in My stare. What was that move that they taught in self-defense where you block the killer's knife move with some confidence the signal when you're trapped inside a moving car I wonder if he'll drive real far. What a day, you should've stayed home shootin' the breeze all day, you should think next time before you start to play, I wonder what will happen today. Rub your eyes from no sleep this week tap your heels home then fall asleep, asleep in bed you'll do something tomorrow instead.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-11-27T02:11:51-05:00

I'll be just fine, pretending i'm not...

I'm far from lonely and it's all that i got ....

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-03T05:12:31-05:00

"Blue Burns Orange"

Bleed these colors open wide
Burning blues from butterflies
(Tonight we, Tonight we fly)
Flying faster through the night
Until the orange of morning light
(Dear black goodbye, Dear black goodbye)

I know it's hard to make this work
When you're all alone (Alone)

And I've been waiting for so long
To hold you in my arms
Embrace forever my sweet girl

Water fills these open eyes
(Tonight we fly)
Still frames and valentines
Won't keep me in her mind
(Dear black goodbye, Dear black goodbye)

I know it's hard to make this work
When you're all alone (Alone)

And I've been waiting for so long
To hold you in my arms
Embrace forever my sweet girl
[x2]

You are the ghost of everything
that I'm not and I want to be
[x2]

Dear black goodbye (Goodbye)
Don't forget to write
Your name inside (Goodbye)
Of my life

And I know it's hard to make this work
When you're all alone

I've been waiting for so long
To hold you in my arms
And I've been waiting for so long
To hold you in my arms
Embrace forever my sweet girl

Just surrender

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-03T05:12:58-05:00

"Our Work Of Art"

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

I wish that I could walk away
guilt rests in my hands
I know that it is for the better
I never said that I'd compromise
between fact or fiction
there's so much better out there
than you and me
I could end this in seconds
I know it but I don't dare

Another sentence this all could be over
Your words are like weapons why can't you protect me

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

I wish that you would walk away
red still lines your hands
I know that it's still for the better
I never said that I'd stand aside
between you and the door
there's nothing better out there
than you and me
I could end this in seconds
I know it but I don't dare

Another sentence this all could be over
Your words are like weapons why can't you protect me

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

Blood stained sheets.
It didn't matter when I was calling out your name
I felt the wound grow ever slowly
closer than you'd ever hold me

It's a work of art
the way this fell apart
was the design too faded from the start
or was the artist just too blinded by this
no it's common sense I lack the confidence
still I'll confess all these things to you

Take a look at yourself
and tell me what do you see
I'd take a bullet for you
you'd put a bullet through me
and as I lay on the floor
with this hole in my chest
Can you walk from the truth
with all that blood on your dress

'Cause everything that you want
is everything that I need
I would have gave it to you
but you'd have take it from me
and every word that you said
it brought me closer to sin
I close my eyes and pretend its all fading

Another sentence this all could be over
Your words are like weapons why can't you protect me

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

Blood stained sheets. (Its a work of art)
It didn't matter when I was calling out your name (the way this fell apart)
I felt the wound grow ever slowly (was the design too faded from the start)
closer than you'd ever hold me (from the start)

So why wait for this to go your way...

truth in words sometimes ........

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-05T04:12:02-05:00

"Past It All"

This is getting old
The way that you speak to me
Never could decide
How you wanted us to be
I never know when your speaking sincerely
Why wont you show
Your intentions towards me
You think you know
The answers to everything
I want to go
My own way this time
And when you show me that
You can be trusted
Then i will show
You truth in your lies

Past all the time we wasted
I saw the end
This wasnt what you said
It would be when i
Heard the words and they began
Past it all
This wasnt what you said
It would be when i got there

Why does it always have to be your way
I tried your way before
Dont want to try it anymore
Why cant you let me do this my way
Im tired of the ends
The means are all pretend

Past all the time we wasted
I saw the end
This wasnt what you said
It would be when i
Heard the words and they began
Past it all
This wasnt what you said
It would be when i got there

And when i got there
They didnt even recognize me
When i got there
In the end

Past all the time we wasted
I saw the end
This wasnt what you said
It would be when i
Heard the words and they began
Past it all
This wasnt what you said
It would be when i got there

Passive agressive messages?!?!???

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-08T03:12:34-05:00

no not really,most won't get this some may think they do and get upset but sometimes lyrics are just lyrics.......and sometimes their not...not that every one is confused on the fact that they don't know if these do or not here they are :)

"Tiger Lily"

we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go (and never let go)
i'll never let go (i'll never let go)
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawal of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i ('cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i ('cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse. (any worse)
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words
'cause i, i don't want to make things
and i, i don't want to make things any worse.........

so as usual i'm at a lost for words.....i'm confused about everything.......Sam is coming home soon and so is Norm and when i see him i'm just going to run and jump on him!!! i haven't seen him in 2 years!!!! me and Chris are trying to be friends not sure how well thats going to work out but we're going to try really hard..... i hope anyways all the other guys around me aren't relly talking to me right now for there own special reasons i'm sure...but whatever not really alot going on other than that i guess

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-08T08:12:05-05:00

"Bleeder"

You came to me like a dream
The kind that always leaves
Just as the best part starts
It ends so abruptly
And leaves you stunned and naked in your bedroom all alone.
It’s kinda funny how something so soothing gets interrupted by the ring of a telephone.
And you broke me like the cigarette that I busted on the day I quit.
But now that I've been drinking,
I'm outta smokes and I wish that I hadn't
Woke up to my daily headache
And the realization that you are gone
Oh my sweet darling happiness
You've been away from me all along
One thing that I've never said
I'm truly happy in my heart and in my head
A lonely liver suspended in liquid
You came to me like a dream
The kind that always leaves
Just as the best part starts
It ends so abruptly
And leaves you stunned and naked in your bedroom all alone.
It’s kinda funny how something so soothing gets interrupted by the ring of a telephone.
One thing that I've never said
I'm truly happy in my heart and in my head
A lonely liver suspended in liquid
Its one thing that I never did was smile
Missing a case, lacking a lid
My heart bleeds for what you never did...
You never did
For what you never did...
Never did.
For what you never did...
Never did...
For what you never did...
Never did...
Never did...
Never did...
You never did...
You never did...
It’s one thing that I've never said, I'm truly happy in my heart and in my head.
A lonely liver suspended in liquid.
Its one thing that I never did was smile.
Missing a case, lacking a lid.
My heart bled for what you never did until now.

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-08T08:12:33-05:00

There's a hope in my head
That's been cut and bleed
Dry as your bloodshot eyes
And there's smoke in the air
And it's soon to clear
Revealing our demise
There are some who say
That it's a-okay
If it makes you feel all right
It's just way too bad
Now you're worse than sad
All locked up there in side

And I don't know how you feel
But I'll make you a deal
If you'll make it out alive
My shoulders and ears
Are all yours my dear
I Hope it comes as no surprise
You've been known to say
That you're a-okay
When you're feeling sick inside
I just want you to know
I got no place to go
Until the day you die

While you're waiting
Be thankful for your fingers
I'll be fading
With the colors of your pictures
'I'm not crying wolf,' you whisper,
'I'm really dead this time...
I'm really dead this time'

There's a hope in my head
That's been cut and bleed
Dry as your bloodshot eyes
And there's smoke in the air
And it's soon to clear
Revealing our demise
You've been known to say
That you're a-okay
When you're feeling dead inside
I just want you to know
I got no place to go
Until the day you die

While you're waiting,
Be thankful for your fingers,
I'll be fading
With the colors of your pictures
'I'm not crying wolf,' you whisper,
'I'm really dead this time...
I'm really dead this time'

They locked you up
They threw away the key
Sutured your mouth shut
Murdered your family
Right before your eyes
What could you do?
Right before your eyes
They took it all from you

Your contemplating
You hanging from your ceiling
Can't help hating
You for having that feeling
I'm not joking when I tell you
I'd miss you all the time
I already miss you all the time

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-08T08:12:57-05:00

"She Broke My Heart, So I Broke His Jaw"

Take apart every piece of this machine,
Leave my broken body in the street,
I'll stammer drunk and hallow to your doorstep

You'll say
Don't even breathe his name
You'll say
Don't you dare

One shot is all that I would need
Tonight I'll have you on your knees
I'll make you see
(I'll have you begging for his life tonight)
One shot is all I'd ever need
Tonight I'll have you on your knees
I'll make you believe
I'll make you believe

And now you'll see
Just how desperate that we both can be
And now you'll see
That you could never live
Live without me

One shot is all I that I would need
Tonight I'll have you on your knees
I'll make you see
(I'll have you begging for his life tonight)
One shot is all I that I would need
Tonight I'll have you on your knees
I'll make you believe [x3]

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-08T08:12:09-05:00

"My Eyes Burn"

My eyes burn from these tears
You'd think I'd learn over these years
Good things won't last forever

So what the hell am I suppose to do
You only wanted the things I couldn't give to you
And you had it all anyway

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

Tell me I'm wrong when I say
I can't expect you to spend forever with me
I live for that single moment

I take back everything I've said
You wore those words on your lips
As if they meant anything anyway

Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
It seems I do more harm than good
And I don't know if it's worth me loosing sleep over this

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

Tell me I'm wrong when I say it
I can't expect you to spend forever with me
I live for that single moment

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place
[x4]

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-11T01:12:45-05:00

"Our Work Of Art"

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

I wish that I could walk away
guilt rests in my hands
I know that it is for the better
I never said that I'd compromise
between fact or fiction
there's so much better out there
than you and me
I could end this in seconds
I know it but I don't dare

Another sentence this all could be over
Your words are like weapons why can't you protect me

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

I wish that you would walk away
red still lines your hands
I know that it's still for the better
I never said that I'd stand aside
between you and the door
there's nothing better out there
than you and me
I could end this in seconds
I know it but I don't dare

Another sentence this all could be over
Your words are like weapons why can't you protect me

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

Blood stained sheets.
It didn't matter when I was calling out your name
I felt the wound grow ever slowly
closer than you'd ever hold me

It's a work of art
the way this fell apart
was the design too faded from the start
or was the artist just too blinded by this
no it's common sense I lack the confidence
still I'll confess all these things to you

Take a look at yourself
and tell me what do you see
I'd take a bullet for you
you'd put a bullet through me
and as I lay on the floor
with this hole in my chest
Can you walk from the truth
with all that blood on your dress

'Cause everything that you want
is everything that I need
I would have gave it to you
but you'd have take it from me
and every word that you said
it brought me closer to sin
I close my eyes and pretend its all fading

Another sentence this all could be over
Your words are like weapons why can't you protect me

Blood stained sheets,
What have I gotten myself into this time?
I close my eyes and I believe you.
If I should die I'll never leave you.

Blood stained sheets. (Its a work of art)
It didn't matter when I was calling out your name (the way this fell apart)
I felt the wound grow ever slowly (was the design too faded from the start)
closer than you'd ever hold me (from the start)

So why wait for this to go your way...

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-14T07:12:25-05:00

Guilt is indeed a wasted emotion!!!!

thank you for teaching me that <3

pretty pissed

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-17T02:12:37-05:00

so yeah went to an awesome punk show tonight at Longbranch everything was cool,me ,wookie,Josh Alyx and william,Chad and Shai....were out on the patio talking joking, hang out Shai got their everything was cool so we listen to some band made a few jokes,i was on the phone with my mom and chad was really sweet he came up behind me and put his jaket around my shoulders(insert Awww here) we went in to watch the cheat's that what we went for i got a call from Ryan while they were playing so i went out on the patio and i went to close the wooden door behind me but i wasn't paying attention and caught my fucking hand in the door now one finger is swallon probably broken and it fucking hurts like hell yeah fucked up ending to a fucking good night*sigh* damn i mean how the hell did i just close one finger in the door?? the sad part was that i wasn't drunk or anything i hadn't even had any alcohol if fucking sucks one more good reason i should just stay drunk i usually don't hurt myself and if i do i can't feel it :(

Home at last!!!

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-18T10:12:44-05:00

so i just got home from Franklin,Tn not to long ago and i feel like i've been home in a week,what with the party thursday i was back at longbranch Friday ,w/ Alyx ,william,Wookie,Josh Shai and Chad i left at 4a.m. on Saturday for Nashville then went to Franklin at like 9 then finally home i've gotten hardly any sleep and i'm tired as hell....... everyone knows what happen thursday basically everyone as drunk and can't really remember much,friday was cool met alot of new people that were...well.....lol i dunno entertaining i guess Sat was awesome nothing like four-wheeling on grandaddy's huge ass farm as long as the horses don't chase ya the party was lacking Sat. and today just felt like a lot of driving tomorrow i'm going shopping with Sam and Tabby which i really need to do and i i don't know what else i'm doing untill weds. when me and Sam are going to the movies then friday is the show at bluecats so i have tues and thrusday free :) which i guess i'll probably wrapp presents and at some point i'll have to sleep :( keeping busy is a good way not to think about things thoseso for that i'm gratefully for my busy weekend and the week ahead

today,tonight and tomorrow?

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-19T01:12:41-05:00

Norm leaves tomorrow and i only got to spend three days with him :( which makes me sad but it's okay thrusday was awesome well to a certain point anyways,i really didn't expect to see him that much anyways,i have to go shopping in a few minutes this may be the first time i've ever not wanted to go shopping lol i'm just tired mental and physically and i wanna lay around my house and be lazy but must christmas shop,tomorrow i can lay around and be lazy :) haha but this is good for me to keep my mind off other things/people that i really really don't won't to think about right now..Norman is going to come over tonight so i guess we can say good bye which really sucks i wish he could be here longer but it happens i'm not sure if i'm going to the show after all friday thats just a random comment i guess i dunno .......

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-23T02:12:27-05:00

today is the first day i haven't been woken up by a phone call saying someone was on their way to my house :) a lazy day for now anyways i know we're going out tonight just not really sure where or when so yeah i got a new tattoo yesterday which i'm really proud of :) it was my christmas present from Norman i must say it was $140 well spent :D yeah but thats all for now i guess i dunno

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-23T02:12:18-05:00

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Everyone's a victim and I am the suspect

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-23T05:12:34-05:00

Everyone's a victim and I am the suspect
The verdict is in and it's all my fault

Guilt rest in my hands

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-24T11:12:33-05:00

Merry christmas eve ..........last night was a very late night talked to Norm until 5 something in the morning after we got home from the club he's probably on a plane right now back to iraq...i drunk called no one last night:) i'm very proud of that :) well all and all it was a good night except norm went back this morning :( fucking army

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-24T12:12:25-05:00

I felt the wound grow ever slowly
closer than you'd ever hold me

starting the holidays off right yep already drinking :) it's okay though not like i have anyone to spend it with ,right? right!

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-25T11:12:49-05:00

being drunk is fun everyone should do it

The party is over everyones gone home

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-27T02:12:57-05:00

Well Norman left to go back to iraq he's probably there now there was alot of delay in Atlanta yesterday and stuff ,Sam is in Atlanta right now waiting on their plane back to Hawaii,and i'm here in fucking tennessee,Norman was right this city is like a blackhole you may get out for a little while but you always end up back here in the end,these past two weeks really have been an emotional roller coaster i guess now is just recovery time

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-27T09:12:06-05:00

new bookmarks were added

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2005-12-29T05:12:07-05:00

BRAND NEW LYRICS "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot"

If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand

I hope you find out what you want

I already know what I am

And if it makes you less sad We'll start talking again

And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am

I'll grow old And start acting my age

I'll be a brand new day In a life that you hate

A crown of gold A heart that's harder than stone

And it hurts a whole lot But it's missed when it's gone

Call me a safe bet I'm betting I'm not

I'm glad you can forgive I'm only hoping as time goes You can forget

If it makes you less sad I'll move out of the state

You can keep to yourself I'll keep out of your way

And if it makes you less sad I'll take your pictures all down

Every picture you paint I will paint myself out

It's as cold as a tomb And it's dark in your room

When I sneak to your bed To pour salt in your wounds

So call it quits Or get a grip

Say you wanted a solution You just wanted to be missed

Call me a safe bet I'm betting I'm not

I'm glad that you can forgive I'm only hoping as time goes You can forget

So you can forget You can forget

You are calm and reposed

Let your beauty unfold Pale white like the skin Stretched over your bones Spring keeps you ever close

You are second hand smoke

You are so fragile and thin

Standing trial for your sins

Holding onto yourself the best you can

You are the smell before the rain

You are the blood in my veins

Call me a safe bet I'm betting I'm not

I'm glad that you can forgive I'm only hoping as time goes You can forget

people are stupid

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-05T03:01:22-05:00

i'm tired of childish people and their need to gossip ......why do they feel the need to cause gossip do they not have anything better to do? i mean really are their lives that pointless?

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-08T02:01:40-05:00

i think i'm finally over being sick!! yay!!!! i'm still kicking the shit out of Nelson though who throws a kegger when their sick ?? eeehhhh anyways i have to go back to work tomorrow :( and i didn't get to do shit this weekend because i was sick this week end blew !!!

You really do disappoint me i hope you know that

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-09T02:01:41-05:00

Being sick has giving me alot time to sit around and think about everything thats went on in the last few months,and all it really comes down to in one perticuliar part of my life is you disappointed from the start you just kept it up and i kept thinking things would get better but you never changed.......so i guess it really is all my fault for holding on as long as i did....mmmmhuhhh ...oh well .....

"Passive"

“Dead as dead can be,” my doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him, ever the optimistic one
I’m sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become…my perfect enemy…

Wake up (we'll catch you) and face me (come one now),
Don’t play dead (don't play dead)
Cause maybe (because maybe)
Someday I’ll (someday I'll) walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
You’re better of this; you’re better off this;
Maybe you’re better off!

Wake up (can't you) and face me (come on now),
Don’t play dead (don't play dead)
Cause maybe (because maybe)
Someday I’ll (someday I'll) walk away and say, “You fucking disappoint me!”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!

Passive aggressive bullshit

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-09T04:01:04-05:00

i through you the obvious to see if there was more behind eyes of a fallen angel eyes of a tradgey .......here i am expecting a little bit to much from the wounded.......but i see see through it all and see you ....oh well oh well apparently nothing apparently nothing at all...you don't you don't you don't see me you don't see me at all.....

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-14T04:01:58-05:00

does every man fucking cheat?? Ash left Gary 2 days ago because he cheated on her again i found out on new year's eve Chris cheated on me a couple of times i mean seriously can you guys not keep it in your fucking pants????

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-19T02:01:32-05:00

i just realized i never explained my new pix*gasp* hehehe

Thats ME!! ,Nelson and The Tabby on new years eve at Nelson's party of course he had to make a goofy face :P but isn't it cute that was an awesome night well besides the lack of sleep Nelson still thinks it's funny i got the shaft sleep wise cause he went back to bed after we left (loser!!) and that he got me sick:P

this has been such a better year thus fair i'm hanging out with old friends so much more and making new ones something i didn't reallt get to do when i was with the "cheating bastard" Friday is the Copper show and i'm oh so excited just me and my girls going out woo hoo yeah so now it's bed time later peoples!!

Last Night :)

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-21T04:01:21-05:00

went to the Vulpine,Cooper& ShadowWax show last night!! yeah so it was the best show i've ever been too....better than the Nonpoint!! it was so awesome i <3 Copper and was very surprise by Vulpine!! i yesterday was one of the best days i talked to Norm,went to the show actaully got to meet Keith the lead singer of Copper!! met the bassist too hehe, met a veiw of the from Vulpine got a pick from both bands!!!came home talked to Nelson (that was kinda intresting ;) ) stayed up way to late since Laura crashed here because we both had to work this morning @ the same place so it only seemed logical.....didn't get hardly any sleep but it was so fucking worth it....:) basically right now Life Is Good!!! lol for once i guess bacause i have no dumb boyfriend stressing me out right now....

as weird as it is to say for the first time in a long time i'm actually Happy!! and content!!! :)

Not bad for a monday

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-25T04:01:57-05:00

so Monday was my cousin's 21st!!! we all went out to a pool hall type place called Barley's the best thing about this place is the up stairs is huge and they don't walk around to card you and everything so yeah it was a fun night for the most part things got a little crazy a couple of glasses got broken (oops!) but thats expected when theres like ten people at one small table lol it was kinda funny the only girls there was me and my cousin and it was her 21st :) but all and all it was a good night.....

****oh and Norm if you read this i'm up to 6 now ,we're no longer tied hahaha

Say hello Say goodbye and walk away and leave this all behind

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-27T12:01:23-05:00

Vulpine-Persona <3

Whenever she smiles back at me the way she would before
I'd give anything if only it could be the way it was before

The feelings are taking over me,
Like who else am I supposed to be with you
Cause I'm all alone

Say hello, say goodbye and walk away
And leave this all behind

I'm reluctant to be here now the way it was before
I'm beginning to see her smile the way she would before

The feelings are taking over me,
Like who else am I supposed to be with you
Cause I'm all alone

Say hello, say goodbye and walk away
And leave this all behind

The feelings are taking over me,
Like who else am I supposed to be with you
Cause I'm all alone

Lucky to see another day
What else am I supposed to say to you
And it still be the truth?

Say hello, say goodbye and walk away
And leave this all behind

Just because i dont want to be with u doesnt mean i dont care for u i'm sorry

brokensoul918 — 2006-01-27T12:01:12-05:00

Inside of you, I'm drowning
So what's the use of wanting you to stay?
All these doses of you are killing me slowly

Down on my knees, I'm hoping
It's never enough to cure the sick inside
All these doses of you are killing me slowly

Don't you take away what you mean to me
I'm sorry it's over
Don't you take away what you mean to me
I'm sorry it's over

Inside of you, I'm sinking
So what's the use of wanting you to stay?
All these doses of you are killing me slowly

Back on my feet, I'm hoping
It's never enough to cure the sick inside
All these doses of you are killing me slowly

Don't you take away what you mean to me
I'm sorry it's over
Don't you take away what you mean to me
I'm sorry it's over

Time seems to be passing to fast

brokensoul918 — 2006-02-02T12:02:05-05:00

i hate work okay i don't hate to work because i need money and working doesn't bother me sometimes it's the only break i get i hate my job! I have to work tonight,even though i'm suppose to be off that makes 6days in a row which is fine for some people because they don't have a 3yr. old at home so thats been my week wake up take care of the kid go to work come home and ass out blahh.....

alittle over a month until the NIN concert :D i'm so very excited! and hopefully i'll get my w-2 forms soon and Tax return means new car it's been almost six months since my car died i can't wait!!! because new car mean better job and better job means new apartment and out of my parents house!!!! and we all know what that means;)

was talking to Nichole last night about my new "idea" yeah she didn't seem to thrilled about it either oh well i'm still going to try mainly because it's something i want to do...i'll make the decision of weither or not to go through with it if i actually get accepted..which i seriously doubt but i still wanna try!

the dating part of my life hasn't really changed that much still have the friends that want to be more which isn't going to happen then there the guys i enjoy going out with and having a good time with and nothings really going to go any farther then it already has(which with some it's gone as far as it can;) ) and i'm happy with that after the really fucked up relationship i just got out of i don't think i could handle another one any time soon i'd just be parinoid and stuff and destorying the relationship

so basically right now has just been a time of working towards a few goals that seem to be closer than ever and "healing" and having fun w/ my friends ....so actually lifes been pretty good :P

a clean slate, getting it out and hopefully letting it go....

brokensoul918 — 2006-02-22T12:02:01-05:00

This is something i've been avoiding for a little while know this maybe jubbled and not make sense to most people but bear with me and you'll have some insight into whats been REALLY going on the last few months this prolly won't intrest you unless you know me personally and are a close friend that actually cares about me somewhat...okay here goes I seem to be a self destrutive person weither i mean to be or not i am in serveal different ways one of main weapons of choice seems to be alcohol with i seem to be in a never ending battle with i can't say no to it if its around i have to have it... a new one has popped up recently and thats putting my self in relationships that i know are bad for me just for a minute of feeling wanted which recently thats all its been because with this person things are rocky when we're sober we only make mean comments to each other and see who can get the most digs in at that point in time then we usually end up getting drunk things do a totally 180 for about 2 hrs. then we get into a knock down drag out with all of our friends standing around to watch the show to the point were i believe they won't hang out with us together any but the reason behind why we do this is deeper i believe we do like each other but we both just got out of relationships where we were extremely hurt hurt and the arguing is a attempt to push each other away which leads me to the next real problem I'm not over him i have so many question that he won't answer mainly because won't talk to me anymore which puzzles me we were together for so long and shared so much it's weird that we can no longer speak to each other not even a simple hello i sit and wonder what made him decide that loving me wasn't worth it anymore,and when he decide he just wanted to give up when towards the end he was the one begging me to let go and totally cut him off when did he decide it just wasn't for him anymore i know we weren't ment to be until "the end" that was apparent we wanted different things for our futures he wanted to stay close to his family to always be right there "just incase" and i want out of here i want to travel and see and experence things that Knoxville just cant offer me and never will be able to, i over estamated he feelings from the get go he shut them off once i'm not sure what made me think he wouldn't do it again... i wanna know if he thinks about me? i wanna know that he's had bad days that everything he heard and saw reminded him of "us" i know this sounds cruel but i really do at least then i could be sure that at one point when he said those three little words to me that there was truth in them...i've had those bad days they're coming few and far between now and hopefully it'll only keep getting better the only problem is is that i know they're starting to go away not because i'm forgiving but only because i'm forgetting and i don't want that i want to one day to be able to look at the pictures i have of him and us and smile because of the good times we had.... until then they'll lay in there box untouched and hidden from sight i hope he finds he's happiness i really do and when he does i hope everynow and then i hope he's reminded of me and our plans we once made

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2006-02-24T12:02:06-05:00

on a side note me and nathan have worked things out.....we talked about what happen and just decided to put it behind us so all is cool there :) i can't wait until next month i'm going to the NIN concert on the 13th then on the 15th Norm goes on leave so a few days after that he'll be back in K-town yay!!! other than just kinda sitting around waiting on something to happen hang out with friends has become boring it's always the same sit and watch movies go play pool sit around and drink :P blah i need something exciting to happen i think i got the taproot concert soon i think it's in april though oh shit i forgot about going to Tampa in april too hope there not at the same time 'cause i'd rather go see Elly in April hmmmm i dunno i'm just rambling out of boredom i'm off today so i have nothing to do.........

one hell of a night!!!

brokensoul918 — 2006-03-14T01:03:48-05:00

NIN was awesome i had so much fun!! even if Matt kept me outta the mosh pit...lol i still got a couple of good pushes in when he wasn't looking ;) now the count down begins for EVANS BLUE!!!! one month i'm really excited about this one i love there music and there just now making it big so hopefully it won't be that hard to get to the front just like the Vulpine and Copper show......... lol thats all for now but my minds going a million miles a minute at this point in thime so there could be more to come ;)

29 damn days!!!!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2006-03-14T11:03:54-05:00

"Beg"
There's a lit cigarette:in the hand of my new angel
she's blowing smoke like halos, and now everybody wants her
but I shouldn't even bother
because you made me so complete dear, but you left me so alone here
hang a noose for my new sinner somewhere everyone can see it
won't you beg me and then tell me how to love you
like anybody else would
I know you're risking failure (risking failure)
go run for cover (for how long)
you better start to love her so much you're moving on and on
now there's a whole wide world...that wants to know
have cheap hotels lost their turn-on? she's bathing in the neon
and she's polluting all the airways while I'm passed out in the hallway
and you left me so in love here, you left with so much hate dear
was I creating only chaos-this world lives just fine without us:won't you?
beg me and then tell me how to love you
like anybody else would
I know you're risking failure (risking failure)
go run for cover (for how long)
you better start love her so much you're moving on and on
will it change your life if I change my mind?
when she's lit the whole wide world
I want to know if you will beg me and then tell me how to love you
like anybody else would
I know you're risking failure, (risking failure) but I'd hope you set your levels (for how long)
so you can run for cover
you better start to love her
now are we this pathetic? you made me finally see it
(will it change your life when I change my mind, will it change your mind when I change my life)
go run for cover
you better start to love her so much you're moving on
I'm so pathetic, you made me finally see it
got what you want? I'm gone

things are going ummm well there going lol

brokensoul918 — 2006-03-22T02:03:26-05:00

okay me and Ryan ummmm lol thats just yeah,he didn't like me telling him not to break up with his gf but yeah lets not talk about that thats really fucked up right now lol

i wanna go see Nelson and he's been asking me to but having no car kinda makes it hard :( i need my damn car fixed

i'm not to happy about the name under march 19th i know who it is and i'm kinda pissed

okay i really don't feel that you should be coming to my journal it isn't any of your business and i really wish you wouldn't do it anymore,this is me asking nicely for you to stop! thank you

okay anyways Norm's punk ass is home *doing a little dance* which makes Ryan unhappy 'cause norm doesn't want me talking to him so i won't be able to as much especial with his gf being back home now (yeah don't ask u don't wanna know)

theres only 21 days until Evans Blue i can't wait everyone is going!!!! Levi told me he'd go with me I <3 Levi!! but i'm worried he'll bring ChrisC. which could be bad since ryan is going and all and of course Daniel is going too which is going to be really damn weird!! for this to be totally unfuckingbareable is if Nelson goes or one of my Ex's goes lets just get everyone i've ever slept with in one place then throw in my cousin and Daniel i'm big brother into the mix who do i get myself into this shit :( lol

lifes actually been pretty good though hopefully Jonathan will have my car fixed friday yay! then my life can get back to normal and i can get into even more trouble yay anyways i'm just kinda rambling

yeah so i'm on lock down now :(

brokensoul918 — 2006-03-28T01:03:41-05:00

i lost my "babysitter" which is my mom since Sat. night i decided not to come home at all and was 2hrs late for work not good since i was the opening manager ...lol

We went to Temple Sat. for the fetish show kinda had to much to drink,i told Nelson i had to be back in Knoxville by 5:30 instead he couldn't wake me up until 5:45 and he lives like 30-45 min. outside of knoxville not good!!! i had only had an hour of sleep the day before so i was really tired and told him we shouldn't go to sleep but he was tired and once he fell asleep so did i :( so now my mom won't babysit for me at all lol and it sucks!!!! i'm sure she'll get over it i just hope she does ...SOON!!!

she didn't scream or yell she just asked me if i had fun cause it wasn't going to happen again with her babysitting...i decided it prolly wasn't a good idea to actually answer that question ;) but yes,yes i did i had an awesome night,drinking and dancing with the William while he was handcuffed(he was really drunk too) then went home with Nelson :) Seriously though Norm is in town this kinda shit should be expected.........

Friday was awesome too Dan,Alyx Eddie and later Norm came over we had a few drinks then went to Adams drank more and other stuff,then went to ihop,and Alyx got all made because me and eddie made out in her backsit oops!!! then back to Adams to get something,then me and norm sat up all night talking and shit until William came and got him at about 1 i got an hour nap in when my mom got home then went out Sat. :) it was a a good weekend!!!!!!!!!!

one hell of a crazy week :)

brokensoul918 — 2006-04-04T01:04:47-05:00

since the fore mention "inccedent" everyones just be coming over late at night to hang out at my house :) things have just been crazy!! Alyx Ran over me mail box but swears it wasn't because she was drunk it was just because she can't drivei n reverse lol Norm and Shai fixed it though :) that same night when William went to leave Norm jumped on the side of his car and half way down my road decided william wasn't going to stop go he just jumped off which was more of a sorta flip and then his head bounced off the road he is fine but cut up his knee and the back of his ear pretty good lol it scared the shit out of me until he got up laughing Alyx found out William spent the Night with me and Jen's but we talked about it and she is totally cool with it i think mainly cause nothing happen and never will Alyx is a really good friend and i'm not going to try to go after her Ex i wouldn't do that to her,she has never stabbed me in the back or betrayed me in anyway and we've been friends for atleast 4yrs.

so the other night we had a really bad thunder strom with Hail and tornado warnings the works! so in my and Norm drunken state decide the best thing to do was to go out and play in it and kick puddles at each other at 5am lol then at 7 it was a good idea to make eggs and bacon:)

Last night was more mellow we sat on my front porch eating seafood which now that i think about it is pretty strange considering we were eating starburst shrimp and drinking beer but William and Norm were making there shrimp talk with little accents and telling a story about how they got caught in nets and shit and wouldn't let me eat my shrimp or give me back my beer until i did it to lol things have just been really weird and random and spontaneous lately but fun and theres been NO DRAMA so all and all lifes been good :D i must say

but saddly Norm leaves friday :(

right now

brokensoul918 — 2006-05-05T04:05:24-05:00

life is good....

so lately .....

brokensoul918 — 2006-06-02T10:06:54-05:00

i hardly ever use this anymore i guess it was just a way me and someone else talked and stuff but since we're no longer together,much like him i've kinda forgot about it and moved on to myspace were most of my friends are......

but lately things have been going extremely well,i have a new boyfriend that i'm totally in love with and it's nice when you know those feelings are returned :) i'm now with someone that loves me and makes me feel important :) everything else is kinda the same.......been hanging out with a lot of old friends from high school that i really missed and my close friends that i've made in the last year or so.......all my friends Luv my new boyfriend so that makes things soooo much easier and it's a 1st!! okay so i'm going to stop rambling on,cause this could just turn into a whole blog entry about how wonderful my baby is! lol

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brokensoul918 — 2006-06-10T01:06:22-05:00

I BELIEVE SOMEONE IS TRYING TO LOOK AT MY BLOG AND ISN"T WANTING ME TO KNOW IT,
TO THEM I SAY GROW THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING CHILDISH AT LEAST HAVE THE BALLS TO LET ME KNOW YOU"RE LOOKING AT IT..........

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2006-06-13T02:06:25-05:00

i got a new JOB!! i start tomorrow YAY!!

Monday!!!!

brokensoul918 — 2006-07-13T10:07:07-05:00

we're moving monday :D FINALLY!!!! i hate packing but i'm moving out of my parents house and into my own MONDAY!!!! :D

Just an update

brokensoul918 — 2006-12-28T01:12:04-05:00

After my last blog we lived in our new place until Sept.11th then there was a fire in which case half the building burnt down none of our belongings was lost except our home we had to move out until Tomorrow we finally get to move back and try it all again :) thats really the only big change thats went on still at the same job still with the same person

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2008-01-05T01:01:00-05:00

To whom ever feels the need to google my blog almost every day for the last month why don't you actually leave a comment so i know who you are?

WOW!!!

brokensoul918 — 2008-01-21T12:01:00-05:00

Someone really has no life if you're looking up my blog everyday through Google thats so pathetic

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2009-11-13T06:11:00-05:00

To write love on her arms

no subject

brokensoul918 — 2009-11-13T06:11:08-05:00

To write love on her arms